Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, while queuing in a shop, a girl appeared to bunk the line. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing to do with me. She then asked me what was I going to do about it, before kneeing me in the nuts. I was overtaken by everyone in the queue. FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
That's when you say 'I NOW agree with what HE said!!' and point your finger to the guy who insulted her in the first place. FYL
saIty 17
Hmm when you say "socked" do you mean smacked with a sock filled butter and other miscellaneous materials? Or the boring fist to face?
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Comments (124)
iTz_x_BurneddPs3 0
I woulda straight slapped a b*tch.
downtime 13
But then you'd be in trouble because you hit a woman. We can't be seen doing the same things women do, that wouldn't be equal!
epicwaffles 7
I can't help but wonder, did she even look at you before she hit you?
obamathellama 0
Women...
hateevryone 15
You should've pointed out that he said it, not you.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
he would have been punched regardless. it would have done no good, whatsoever.
birdfreak 24
Woooow ok well ummm wow. I think the guy shouldn't have insulted her and the girl should have just said something to him not sock him in the face
buck33 14
Wow really?
silentbutfunny 0
This wprld isn't a picture perfect society where theres pretty little rainbows everywhere, and everybody live in perfect harmony
silentbutfunny 0
World*
DocBastard 40
She obviously likes you, just like the boys who put stickers in girls' hair in grade school. Plus, I bet she's ******* WILD in bed. Make sure to invite me to the wedding.
desireev 18
.....With DocBastard as my witness, I now pronounce OP and Bitch at the Store husband and wife!.....
SaMmIMonster96 6
Geez everyone just loves DocBastard... Including me :)
imepelepticsir 5
by the looks of it not many like you.
SaMmIMonster96 6
Oh well.. I know I am not liked, I embrace it
Donniehw 5
58 I'm a witness too! xD Man if she is "WILD in bed" that would be awesome! A strong chick ( hopefully hot((I'm not that shallow but I do prefer the pretty girls)) ), that is "WILD in bed"? Man all she has to do is be nice (which, based on this fml, prolly isn't the case) and he'd have the whole package!!! -Donniehw
Sumo69 9
As Mark Wahlberg said sh!t would go down differently if I was there
Clamcreepy 7
I definitely would've cursed her out and made her apologize to me. She can't just go around hitting people before she actually confirm the guilty party.
Unlucky_Gun 0
That's true. I love your picture by the way, Bob Marley rules
Clamcreepy 7
Thanks : ) yours is cool too.
maskedman 9
She shouldn't go around hitting people at all. Insulting someone is legal, while assaulting someone is illegal.
linkinpark98 24
I'd grab the nearest open box of tic tacs and throw them at her.
silentbutfunny 0
Im a man, and ive been raised to treat women with respect, hold doors open, pick up the check... Etc. Guys should NEVER hit a girl, us guys are built to be stronger. If a girl hits a guy, ouch... Call her a bitch? Idk. NEVER swing back. If she continues to wail... Different story (i say push her away) Women shouldnt hit men and cant use their ****** as an excuse either