Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, while giving my boyfriend what I thought was an amazing blow job, he asked me if I'd seen Kung Fu Panda 3 yet. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
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Top comments
PhantomCrevan 8
There could have been worse choices. Like "It's a Small World," or "Macarena."
Allie614032 34
Oh, come on. He should be able to take a joke. At least he got a ******** out of it.
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Comments (20)
PhantomCrevan 8
There could have been worse choices. Like "It's a Small World," or "Macarena."
ChakatBlackstar 29
He might not have liked it, but I can't stop smiling. This is my new favorite ******** story.
Allie614032 34
Oh, come on. He should be able to take a joke. At least he got a ******** out of it.
Dave_Davington 34
I guess he feels like you didn't bring honour to us all.
RichardPencil 32
That’s pretty awful! Just as bad would be “Take This ‘Job and Shove It” or “Never Gonna Give You Up.” To stick with the Disney theme, try “Someday My Prince Will Come.”
Yudith 28
"Take this job and shove it" is much worse than Mulan. At least sleeping with a woman is a legitimate way of making a man out of you.
Travis D. Nyman 9
it would work for me. provide a whole new meaning to mulan. but lmao
Lobby_Bee 18
How can anyone get mad from a *******, unless it wasn't finished. Did you finish him off?
lexos 16
Try big Shaq - man's not hot the next time
Glowworm56 27
"Alright, that's it! Dishonor on your whole family! Make a note of this! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!"
pjsr 33
********? Hum anything you want - makes no difference to me; I’m all in. Besides it could be worse: ‘You cum and go, you cum and go, karma chameleon’; Little Bitty by Alan Jackson; ‘I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth’ by One Direction
Stefany Baillargeon 9
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂