Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Now that you’ve gotten over that hurdle, you’re halfway to eating placenta. There’s a newly single girl who’s into that.
mt21mt 15
So what? If you trust her and know her enough to know she isn't HIV+ and doesn't have Hep C, a little blood won't hurt you. Have you ever eaten a rare steak? You are more likely to get sick from that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (21)
kujiens101 24
Always smell before you lick. Rookie mistake.
Olivigrace23 4
If that's an FML then maybe you should finger guys from now on
Tanya2004 9
better early than late, am i right ;)
Talented73 54
Once you get past the smell, you've got it licked.
Talented73 54
Are you a cunning linguist?
empbob 20
Or maybe you need to cut your fingernails...
GhostFox 34
The girl would have felt it if his nails cut her enough to cause that much blood. It's not like menstruation is just a little bit of blood- it's a fairly large amount even for people with light periods.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Oh, the IRON-y.
Seymore Collins 7
Welcome. You're a real man now.
hira209 2
If she had hiv he'd been ????
Hillyard 10
Nope, that doesn't qualify you for Red Wings.