Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Now that you’ve gotten over that hurdle, you’re halfway to eating placenta. There’s a newly single girl who’s into that.
mt21mt 15
So what? If you trust her and know her enough to know she isn't HIV+ and doesn't have Hep C, a little blood won't hurt you. Have you ever eaten a rare steak? You are more likely to get sick from that.
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Comments (21)
Elisabetha Aarron 18
You realised that only after the lights came on? Are your tastebuds ok? Maybe get them checked if it took you till the lights came on to release this