Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML
Today, after sexting with my wife for the whole day, I came home to a dark house due to a blackout. Being horny, I went in and started humping her from the back. She screamed. It was my mom who came to supply candles during the blackout. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
Today, the power went out. Thankfully, it was early in the morning so I should've been able to sleep through it. Then I realized I have an impossible time sleeping during power outages. FML
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Top comments
dorothy675 15
Some women don't get horny until they're either on their period or very close to it. It's a weird system we have. Good luck OP!
ChaiseT 16
Then why don't you bring it up when she's not on it.
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Comments (101)
moodyreallyrocks 27
Sucks OP!!
seriously1738 8
His girlfriend probably doesn't.
childproofpizza 19
Succs*
ChaiseT 16
Then why don't you bring it up when she's not on it.
chrisbeaudoin 26
He probably has, I think that's why he made an fml about it.
dorothy675 15
Some women don't get horny until they're either on their period or very close to it. It's a weird system we have. Good luck OP!
Sunflora219 26
I can confirm this.
viipeterson98 14
confirmed
TheHcwalker 20
I don't mind blood, that's what showers are for, getting clean.
ImASisterFister 4
Well I mean you did choose to get married.... deal with the side affects xD
justcommenting19 19
Maaaaybe you should talk to her about it. Reignite the passion in the relationship? But what would I know. I'm a sponge.
Colon_Man 17
HOLY SHIT! A TALKING SPONGE!
MrFrosty10 6
I just love the ending of this comment xD
jbuckets_404 39
#12: Um, no; for now, we not only know that he can type, but SEE, too! As for speaking, currently there's no supporting evidence....
Colon_Man 17
You got me, there.
toolazytotype99 18
Maybe you should try bringing up sex when you guys can instead of waiting for her to
redscarf_fml 8
You could have period sex. There's nothing wrong with it!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Periods stop nothing but a sentence.
Moonfate 16
Period sex is the best kind of sex.
liria_fml 15
Having sex during ones period helps to reduce pain from cramps.
josephbates 8
Then rub it all over your face like war paint!
anlong93 9
Aaand, it went too far.
Colon_Man 17
This is why we don't have him over, as much, anymore.
doemetoch 28
Period doesn't mean no sexy stuff can happen though. Even if she (or you) isn't comfortable with actual penetration while on her period, you can hug, kiss, stroke, lick, bite,... each other. So many things you could do that would be fun and exciting for both of you! (And honestly, if you've never even though of this because for you sex is only about penis-in-******-stuff, that might explain why she doesn't seem very eager to have sex with you...)
YourOpinionSucks 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No real men want foreplay. Get out with that. It's always about sparking some bullshit with these women. Almost like its solving a rubix cube blind folded, with one hand, and the colors change every three seconds. But then again ****** feels better than lotion, which is why men are willing to jump through these hoops.
Jumbled_Mess 7
They need the "bullshit" because doing the deed with a dry ****** is no fun.
nonamejack 3
That's literally what sex is though.
sarianna 10
Oh, #59, just wait until you find out about lesbians.
Stiggy626 25
I bet he doesn't have a gf. probably never given a girl an ****** either
Stiggy626 25
I bet he doesn't have a gf. probably never given a girl an ****** either
RememberSchlitz 9
"They don't close the amusement park just 'cos the merry-go-round's broke." - Ron White
Zebediabolical 45
Any port in a bloody storm, old chap.
Eldslibo 20
Do you bring it up? Do you have sex, but she never take initiative? Or is it just that she doesn't bring it up and therefore you don't have sex at all? Maybe she's insecure, maybe she doesn't want to have sex, maybe your sexdrive is way higher then hers. Talk to her, it might help. If she only brings it up when she's on her period, when there's no time, when you can't do it, etc, it might be because she doesn't want to, sorry. No matter what reason lies behind it, talk to her!
TheMathMajor 26
This definitely. I had that conversation with my fiance recently. He was upset because I rarely initiate sex, so he was feeling unattractive and like I didn't want him. But the truth is we just have different sex drives and I really prefer it when he initiates. So I learned that he really likes it when I initiate, so now I can make an effort to do that more for him. Problem solved! You can't address the problem until you know what it is and both partners are aware of it.
thundermoo 16
I don't understand. Why can't you have sex when she's on her period?
shandu7 10
Earn your red wings, friend.