Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, my wife tried to join me in the shower to be sexy, only I was shampooing so when I turned round and felt someone in the shower with me, I panicked and we both fell and got stuck in the bottom of the bath. Our kids had to come and help, because my wife had a broken arm and we couldn’t move. FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
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Top comments
WordBea 23
More like FHL. You got action but she got 3 stitches :(
Jeremiah722 19
Got a little too excited there
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Comments (68)
AmIReallyRenee 20
If you're going to be kinky do it right.
fonkimonki 7
So it ain't your life that sucks, it's your wife...
Steve97 32
Woah take it easy there sport!
BlueHorizons 8
While it certainly sucks that your romp in the shower was brought to a premature end, this is a moment that the two of you will be able to look back on and laugh about for the rest of your lives. Your wife sounds pretty cool btw, both for her apparent gusto during shower sex and her ability to not give a **** about what others think about your sex escapades. Which are a completely and totally normal thing btw. People are too uptight these days.
CalFoxx 13
I don't think this is an fml. I think this is a great story to make for later haha :)
RecklessNapkin 16
That is one reason you don't have sex in showers
sturschaedel 27
Shower sex is awesome. Especially if you are in one of those fancy rain showers.
trucker2 33
Broaden your horizons !!!!
barlos88 19
At least you weren't some elderly person grabbing the rod in vain as you slipped to your death
Livin_Like_Larry 29
Your like the hulk. You can never have sex or you break shit
memeometer 11
Nice bro! Did u get to finish it?
millie14225 31
i thought it was funny as hell! I'd tell the story too, if I were her!