Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML
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Top comments
crumsnatcha 4
At least you weren't riding a motorcycle.
MoonyIce 0
Aaaand that. That there is one of the funniest things I've read all damn day. Thank you.
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Comments (161)
pleasetryagain 0
Caaaarrrrr waaaaaaash
plexico 4
Next time I get birdshit on my windshield, I'll think of this and shut the **** up.
Anonanimal 0
i was thinking the exact same thing :P
sodahhhr 0
I died laffing 14nd!!!
Pandasaur 0
Ohh, you know what? I bet when he thought you were going to run him over, he got scared. In his alarm, his threw up his arms and tossed the bag of shit at your windshield. When you ended up stopping in time, he was so happy that he praised the lord! Or maybe he was glad that he didn't have to carry that bag around anymore. Either way, mystery solved. :] FY car's life.
SaintJimmy 0
I agree with #27. (I wonder if this one will be moderated as well. It's not like there are better choices to remove
TheOthin 0
So do I.
crumsnatcha 4
At least you weren't riding a motorcycle.
Intoxicunt 6
Lmao. Nice. #17 was good too.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
This goes to show you that you can take away their land, shelter, and civil liberties, but only they can decide when to throw away their dignity, what little remains... heh heh. I said remains as an intended pun...
iwadasn 33
Wow, you're so clever that you have to point out your own cleverness to be sure that people notice it! Good for you!
brendiz 0
LOL! this needs to be in a movie scripts...would be a hilarious scene!
paintballer394 0
Let's hope it wasn't his!
iwadasn 33
I think it would be more disturbing if it weren't his, actually.
FloridaOranges 0
Sounds like you had crappy day :D