Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
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Top comments
cjl922 17
That's a visual
Tripartita 45
On the upside, you hail from Islamabad, a place that sounds like a geographically challenged character in a sitcom trying to come up with a middle-eastern location to spout stereotypes about.
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Comments (35)
cjl922 17
That's a visual
Yapiej 21
At least you didn't rub both of your eyes
BlackHawkSavior 28
Now try habanero peppers, I've heard it's got a Satan/lava feel that's quite pleasant
dontknow1 19
That always happens, it's Murphy's law.
Mowmeee 7
Sounds awful! Hopefully it didn't last that long.
Tripartita 45
On the upside, you hail from Islamabad, a place that sounds like a geographically challenged character in a sitcom trying to come up with a middle-eastern location to spout stereotypes about.
nash1991 20
It's the capital of Pakistan
Ladisa 28
A geographically challenged character? I've never heard that expression before. Is that the equivalent to "mentally challenged", but for ethnicities? Lmao
Miss_Whipped 43
#16 I assume it was in reference to the study of Geography. So someone who is challenged in the knowledge of Geography.
rockeditionbarbi 14
Whatever you do, don't scratch your crotch!
Viper_Revenge 10
Sounds like a firey topic
Dilexar 26
fiery*
janfleury 19
Don't go to the bathroom while chopping them.
Thatmanoverthere 7
How'd you write this FML then XD