Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
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Top comments
cjl922 17
That's a visual
Tripartita 45
On the upside, you hail from Islamabad, a place that sounds like a geographically challenged character in a sitcom trying to come up with a middle-eastern location to spout stereotypes about.
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Comments (35)
NoseToNose 13
On a positive note at least it was not a more sensitive area like your privates.
SunshineBoy_fml 16
Oh my, hot piss!
Tatork91 5
that is indeed a horrible thought... almost happened to me with onions
staminprime 12
I did this in my barracks once. I feel your pain OP (I did it with the 6th hottest hot sauce. I couldn't stop laughing the entire time)
freddygasman 18
I feel for you. I bit into a whole pickled jalapeno once and it sprayed me in the eye and up the nose with juice, I suggest a cold wet rag.
Hambrick_Face 1
Take a shot glass, fill it with milk, cup it over your eye to flush. It will take the burn away instantly. You'll look a little retarded but it works.
kakabalo 18
could have been worse...hope u r feeling better
brandocomando123 6
Try Caroline Reapers
xxUnknown 19
I feel your pain ...
Mysterybounty 6
Quick let me post this online instead of treating my eye.