Today, while building a gingerbread house with my two kids, they thought it would be funny to pee on it while I wasn't looking. Nobody noticed until my wife ate one of the pee-covered gingerbread men. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Today, when I got home from the store, the dog was wiping his ass on the carpet, my two older boys were brawling, my youngest was crying because he'd broken a glass and cut himself, and my husband was in the kitchen, eating the cake I'd told him to leave alone. FML
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Top comments
Tenbed 10
<p>YDI. A soggy baked good is pretty easy to identify.</p>
Magnoxidans 19
Was she pissed off? :D
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Comments (53)
RedWolfy 7
Why do kids do the most stupidest things? And don't say "because they are kids"
teechur 15
Kids brought up with respect and manners do not do filthy things like this.
trucker2 33
I'd say make the kids eat the gingerbread house as punishment
pjsr 33
Is this a thing in your family? Have you taught them to pee on things as a joke?
pjsr 33
"Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me; I'm the AHHHHG, oh gawd, for the love of all things decent - why the hell would you do that?!?"
Firestar268 25
How did you not notice pee covering whatever you were building on?
cats1234 15
That's pretty ******* funny !!
phoebenut 4
What the hell is wrong with your kids
Stuffaluffagus 25
I'm so glad I'm never having kids
teechur 15
What kind of kids are bringing up? My Lord. Time for parenting classes before things really get out of hand.
ClitasaurusRex 3
Your kids are dick heads