Today, while building a gingerbread house with my two kids, they thought it would be funny to pee on it while I wasn't looking. Nobody noticed until my wife ate one of the pee-covered gingerbread men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Today, when I got home from the store, the dog was wiping his ass on the carpet, my two older boys were brawling, my youngest was crying because he'd broken a glass and cut himself, and my husband was in the kitchen, eating the cake I'd told him to leave alone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tenbed 10
<p>YDI. A soggy baked good is pretty easy to identify.</p>
Magnoxidans 19
Was she pissed off? :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
Zelda9678 11
Wait, so they PEED on your ginger bread?! What kids would do that?!
tukejayden 0
They peed on the gingerbread house are they ok? lmao mentally that is
ProperInglish 2
and physically once that dad is through with them.
Magnoxidans 19
Was she pissed off? :D
Lalala579121 28
Better that than pissed on, like the gingerbread house.
almost_there44 26
How did she not notice a soaking wet ginger bread man?
cheeeksss 29
And how does one not notice the smell?
Kaylana_fml 31
Please why, I don't understand D: What is wrong with your kids??
NostalgiaFreak9 43
What the hell? I've heard of kids doing some pretty crazy/disgusting things, but this is a whole new kind of bad behavior. I hope you punished them for this.
PikarooArtist 17
How did your wife not notice the pee soaked nor the nasty smell of the gingerbread cookies?
trucker2 33
How old are these kids.... Where were you while this was taking place....pack up them Xmas gifts till next year...
RichardPencil 32
Urine trouble!
Cali 57
Title of one of my undergrad projects. Not kidding.
r1has 28
The degree of FMLness depends on the age of the kids in question. Imagine how much worse it'd be if they were teenagers
sturschaedel 27
The age doesn't even matter. Once they are old enough to be able to aim without someone helping them (somewhere around 2 years old), they are old enough to know where peeing is acceptable. Something is seriously wrong with them.
Colon_Man 17
Little Bobby turns 35 next March.