Today, while building a gingerbread house with my two kids, they thought it would be funny to pee on it while I wasn't looking. Nobody noticed until my wife ate one of the pee-covered gingerbread men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Today, when I got home from the store, the dog was wiping his ass on the carpet, my two older boys were brawling, my youngest was crying because he'd broken a glass and cut himself, and my husband was in the kitchen, eating the cake I'd told him to leave alone. FML
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Top comments
Tenbed 10
<p>YDI. A soggy baked good is pretty easy to identify.</p>
Magnoxidans 19
Was she pissed off? :D
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Comments (53)
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Someone is getting coal in their stockings this Christmas!
Moerighan 23
How could you not smell it? Pee is pretty distinctive. If she could taste it couldn't she tell before she put it in her mouth?
Wishe 17
What the hell is wrong with your kids where that's their idea of a joke??
RosesThorn17 7
I hope you mean ex kids. After a stunt like that I'd slap them in the face and dump them on the side of the road for a wild animal to take in. Would serve them right and they'd probably enjoy it since they already act like animals.
LyricaSilvan 30
I sincerely hope you're joking. Being angry with them, I would understand. But if you're serious and would actually drop your kids off in the middle of nowhere for any reason, I really hope you never have children.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You missed the joke 27.
LyricaSilvan 30
I don't consider dumping children on the side of the road something worth joking about.
cootiequeen4444 11
it wasn't dumping children on the side of the road that was a joke. that was just how the "children" were to get their animal foster parents. which they deserved after acting like animals. which was the joke. don't think too poorly of the original commenter p:
RosesThorn17 7
Me too! Kids are disgusting little cretins. I'd rather not taint my life with something that's four functions are: shit, piss, scream and make my life a living hell. What joke?
DannyDizzle 8
It would make the gingerbread taste better that's how she picked up something was off, cause you know who eats gingerbread anyway lol
cootiequeen4444 11
wat? you know who? Santa? Satan? Voldemort? why would they think piss covered gingerbread tastes better? I honestly don't understand what you are trying to say..
Colon_Man 17
This is something bullies would do. If your kids are school age then I would start suspecting that they are the ones beating other kids down for their lunch money.
sillymama 21
I'm not at all surprised that this event happened in Arkansas. In fact all the questions I had were answered fairly quickly in my mind. FYL indeed.
Bam6849 7
This needs a follow up
LyricaSilvan 30
OP, I think you may need to teach your kids some very serious lessons here. This is bizarre on all counts, and is not normal or acceptable. As someone else said, if they're old enough to know how to aim so that the urine gets on a specific thing (in this case, the gingerbread,) they're old enough to know better.
tjpr314 8
No that's unacceptable as a so called joke. Now tell them that they are not getting anything for Christmas this year and see how funny that joke is to them! I bet they won't be laughing at that!