Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
If he still wants to hang out with you after being hit in the face by projectile mints he's clearly into you. I applaud you for pioneering new ways of finding out if someone likes you.
pizz0wn3d 0
10 points!
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Comments (115)
KryptoniteKiss 0
Hahaha, what did you say?
too_much_fun 0
She said, "Yes! Off the dashboard and into the basket" ;)
humorizer 14
WHO TOLD THE FUNNY JOKE?! I dunno if it was the waiter or the boyfriend, because the he is being used ambigiously through the the story. Cursecakes.
atruegem 0
See, this is what happens when you reply to the #1 comment to show off what kind of smartass you are. And then you fail for everybody to see. They had a WAITRESS, the OP is a WOMAN and a *he* told the joke and the mint hit a *him* on the head. What is ambiguous about that? There is no doubt it was the crush. Next time you want to be a smartass, try harder
divineinstrument 2
What's up your ass #24? Or are you always a jackass?
atruegem 0
no, I am only a jackass when I come across dumbsters like #22 whose attention span doesn't even last for the duration of reading through a 300 character FML in a way that allows them to actually GRASP the situation.
Nightmenace 0
dont u mean backboard? lol
genius_man16 1
No, he definitely meant dashboard.
Drakon_fml 7
To be fair, 22, just because the OP has a crush on a guy doesn't automatically make the OP a girl. Just sayin' that you shouldn't try to be a smartass.
GrapefruitZoe 0
But it says she's a woman. And I don't think this an FML. Ouch, but oh well. Funny, anyway.
brittrox 0
it was a waitress...which means the he was her crush
Eli0 0
It must have come out of your mouth with a lot of force...esp if you didnt use the heimlich
killerviral 0
shoulda gave him a bj in the parking lot lol southpark
YourMiserableBoy 0
Today, while at dinner with my girlfriend, I told a joke and she started choking on her mint like an idiot. she then spit it out and it him me in the face and landed in my drink. FML.
EvilCupcake8361 9
# 14 is a win:)
MwahFMLS 6
Geez no need to get your panties in a wad #24
jillianmathers12 13
Let's hope that it was pop because they have free refills!
lebronesque73091 12
Guys would probably get over it easier than girls. You'll be fine :)
soulfhood24 0
FYL
pizz0wn3d 0
10 points!
ariannaa_fml 17
for Grifindor!
PaulZindelLover 4
I love TGI Fridays
tiffanyro 0
LOL.
lemon_lime_12 0
oh wow.. that really sucks for you. =/
my_fml_account 2
If he still wants to hang out with you after being hit in the face by projectile mints he's clearly into you. I applaud you for pioneering new ways of finding out if someone likes you.
duckgirl18 0
I dont get how so many people say you deserve it?????? But nice aim for his head, I'm sure he thanked you for it!
snackeyg 0
If I was that guy I would have though it was gross but still funny.
Zomlette 0
I would have found that hilarious. I mean, you could've sneezed on him or something. But you launched a projectile mint instead. Thats an awesome story.
sika_fml 0
Epic Win!