Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
I would've laughed, too. It's ice. It melted and you had no problems but an over-reaction. What did you expect him to do after the fact?
aback 5
WTF did you do to get his attention? Wave? Clear your throat politely? Send a text message? Smack the shit out of the sucker, or just lie down and die like a dainty little wimp.
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Comments (80)
therighthero 0
so many whiners on this site. Whaaa Whaaa get the hell over it. Attention ******.
mpclaw 3
why not mail it?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Yes, this. I find it's much safer to mail food and drink directly to my stomach. So much less exhausting than chewing...
Hughmadd 0
Seriously, OP? It's ICE! If you choke on it, it turns to liquid and melts. You think you survived a near-death experience or something? You're acting like your boyfriend should have treated you like you had a gun pulled to your head...
gir3332396 0
it's like the spongebob episode with the snow
katerpillar_fml 0
What an asssss
TheTrollrCoaster 2
Are you used to getting things lodged and stuck in your throat, while "trying" to get his attention?
jacobjackman 0
Lol I've choked on a piece of I've before too
sagelabo 0
foursquare FTW!
ocampnell 0
What were you expecting, to hook up with her? Why didn't you just mail her id to the girl? I would think you were strange too. She should have said thanks even if it was with a weird look.
sublime420 11
wrong FML...
blondandblue7968 0
That happened to my son... he was terrified!! Not laughing.