Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
I would've laughed, too. It's ice. It melted and you had no problems but an over-reaction. What did you expect him to do after the fact?
aback 5
WTF did you do to get his attention? Wave? Clear your throat politely? Send a text message? Smack the shit out of the sucker, or just lie down and die like a dainty little wimp.
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Comments (80)
docscientist 10
Have enough ice and it would be a slow drowning.
funzcpl 0
next time he gets choked on ice, pretend to be looking at the recent fml's. jk. that's awful.
mintcar 10
It's some sort of app. I downloaded it, didn't really understand and deleted it. The old school foursquare game was awesome. I used to play it with the few friends that I had during recess in Elementary.
kiwi00 0
it's an app that you check in a different places and you can see where your friends are.
iheartglasses 0
Laughing is mentally embedded in our brains as an "its ok" response. If someone trips and breaks their leg, its not so funny. But if they trip and just get back up, then that warrants a giggle. Yes the thought of you choking a little then being immediately fine is kinda funny. I've laughed at myself for doing the same thing :)
TADspace 30
Did you die? Did you even come close to death? No? Then it was funny because you were freaking out over NOTHING
sublime420 11
"I wanted to tell you that i was choking on snow but then the snow melted and turned to water and i drank the water so now im fine...can i use your bathroom?"
mrahhhhh 21
Billy and Mandy ftw!
doink 0
I thought that was from Spongebob. Wow, I feel lame.
Signposthead 0
It is from Spongebob, Patrick said it to Squidward.
avenged7xforever 0
you fail
mrahhhhh 21
Doink: Yeah it was from Spongebob. Hell don't feel lame, I should. I loved both those shows and I can't even remember which one the quote came from. :& But it does sound like something Billy would say to Mandy :).
JeterFan428 0
Spongebob FTW! lol
Person1233 13
I was hoping somebody would have said that...
sourgirl101 29
You're lucky it wasn't a piece of chicken. Now, be more careful when you shallow.
mrahhhhh 21
You're acting like anything having to do with choking and chickens is bad. :p
RedPillSucks 33
Yes, especially when done together.
sourgirl101 29
Damn mrahhhhh(I had to count how many h's in your name) that was super funny! Where have your quizzes been lately???? Those were always fun to (try and) answer!(:
mrahhhhh 21
I haven't been on in forever, I can only add comments by cell phone now (college classes suck up a lot of time). Plus learning music off books takes time too. Quizzes... I haven't thought about those much. I'll make one for the next batch of fmls :).
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
sucks that your bf is inconsiderate of your feelings, but everyone seems to agree w him
perdix 31
He just knew enough thermodynamics and biology to know that the ice would melt before the serious hypoxia kicked in. Don't be such a drama queen, and also learn not to choke on shit.
IamLegend2012 0
ur a bitch