Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML
Today, I went to pick up my laundry from the communal machines in my apartment building. When I got there, all my clothes were neatly folded on top of the dryer. I was impressed, until I realized half of the pile wasn’t mine. I'd been carrying someone else’s underwear up to my apartment. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML
Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML
Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
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Top comments
mcxhunni 0
maybe she thought you might have been referring to your dick... not dumping on yourself...
mxpklx 12
someones socially awkward.
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Comments (190)
ShrukiantheMad 0
I saw this as a rage comic on Reddit.
JetRyan 0
lmao XD
vzdevil 1
Thats pretty good.... I might use that one myself! anyways don't be embarrassed, I'm sure she either thought it funny or an honest mistake.
madison_highland 0
bahahhaha thats great !
Turbo_Kramit 0
christ...
jmac82 0
wow. That is the lamest line I have ever heard. I hope she laughed in your big loser face and told you no way in hell would she ever bang a massive douchebag loser like you
emojustin 0
same as me bud I have a huge **** to ;)
guyfromri 1
idiot.
Zakman94 0
Nice pickup line.
hmugsy 3
Fail...