Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
You're like his bitch.
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
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Comments (280)
lol0wnee 5
get on you're knees.
IWarnedYou 0
I'm grammar police officer Jake. I'm going to have to give you a ticket for saying you're. You should have said "your". The fine will be $20.
imosim 0
I'm the troll police officer, and I'm going to have to fine you 30$ for unnecessary trolling.
IWarnedYou 0
I'm going to have to give you a fine for putting the dollar sign behind the money amount. $30 is the correct way.
dreamering 16
Hey, grammar officer. The $ sign can go in the front or in the back. It depends where people live. This troll lives in "Canadia". Check his profile. That should have been your comeback material.
dreamering 16
Moderator, please remove these posts. It was a reply for the posts you deleted. Thanks
Iamnotmyself 17
Positive reinforcement is all I need
babbu18 0
hahaha good luck when the kid funds something bigger and 'better' than a whip..
DeepDownThere 3
The kid isn't literally whipping her...
rayrayray23 1
haha retards these days :D
chelseaaababyyy 17
did you really think the kid was whipping her ? sorry but thats just retarded..
construction 7
like your picture : )
rayrayray23 1
perv
ambeeelove 0
owned! haha
smurfsarwales 9
or maybe more like 4? :p
smurfsarwales 9
or maybe more like 4? :p
tcearl 0
Hi.
BaconDave 12
no flirting on fml
hail_this_villai 0
Truer words have never been written, colonel.
tcearl 0
why not?
ambeeelove 0
haha
Mi24hind 0
I see a pimp in the making
Siji 0
It's A Pimp Named Slickback. Ya gotta say it all at once.
lmaoatall 6
why does this kid give me the impression that this is what boners would have been like at 7?!?!
skyeyez9 25
If that 7yr old offers to show OP his butt plug collection, and pet oppossum, then that is definately everyoneluvsboner's son!
construction 7
he's 11
nahgemoohc 17
^uhhh... he's 7.
WiderWille 11
No, he is 25, OP just made a small typo.
Meisuruler 0
232 he's seven 0_0
bridgid96 13
whip him bac
bwenduh45 7
well your getting paid aren't you?so stop complaining,it's not like they threw poo at you,caused a massive explosion,or worse.
lemonlimejuices 0
*you're. Also, is it really that hard to capitalize and put spaces after punctuation?
imosim 0
wow you are a hardcore grammar troll aren't you.. sad sad life..
elfuin 0
Ok I understand poo, but where the heck is a seven year old getting explosives? Also, if that were possible, what is worse than being blown up?
papaicey 0
uhh, it's supposed to be funny, not scary
Jdeluxh 12
your pic looks like a dick.
hotchicklover 0
jus try having sex with him. maybe you will get married
lmaoatall 6
why in the love of god would you recommend , or even state to anyone to have sex with a seven year old. that's sick!! it's not even a joke!
Jakaroo 0
-46 hey people get married even though the girl is older.......but the sex part Isssss "ok"?????
lmaoatall 6
yes 56- the age difference is not an issue for me here when it comes to marriage.30-40! that's fine. between adults. my gripe is the fact the kid is 7, and should have never been a reference made about sex!
hotchicklover 0
the kid is a playa and you know you are in love with hum. take his penis and put it in ur mouth
lmaoatall 6
you need to be ******* banned from this site you sick ****!!!
androiddestroya 7
WTF is wrong with you 28?
WCARlover 35
but you're getting paid by his parents:) so it's okay