Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has more hair on her abdomen than I have on mine. FML
Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML
Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML
Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some Midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML
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Top comments
TheEpicKitten 20
That makes me legitimate sick. You should probably have a doctor explain to her that it doesn't work that way
Tripartita 45
"So, how'd you get into the hair growth business?" "Haha, funny story, actually. I'd just been ejected from somebody's uterus through their ******, and they were like, 'I gotta put this shit on my husband's head,' so I decided, like, when life gives you lemons… you know?"
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Comments (37)
Aiden89 23
I just threw up a little.
Miss_Whipped 43
Ignoring for just a moment how ****** this is... it's clearly not working so why does she keep trying?
2simz 25
This may be the weirdest post I've read
Justine94_x 31
That's so disgusting
CSSDimian 6
What the ****?
Brain_fart 20
That's traumatic.. I'm curious how she came up with an idea like that.
Sanguinairius 33
Well, it was only a matter of time before I saw something like this show up. Cripes. For those wondering, there's all sorts of mystical 'reasons' people think it works, here's an example such as sites like this one; http://www.luckymojo.com/bodyfluids.html that explain further. There are mentions in numerous, witchcraft, folk, and 'home remedy' websites/books about the many wondrous uses of this 'sacred' blood and how to slip it into your lovers drinks, hair/clothes etc for all sorts of things. I was only curious how long it would take for this sheer level of "Nope" to reveal itself on fml. Gross. OP, tell your wife to stop violating your will, Mystically and just -logically-, accept and love you for who you are, and to seek medical counseling. best of luck man, Wear a hat.
Glynnis Sevillano 8
Oh hell no. Get that bitch to stop.
EnvyMe33 26
Such an odd post. I do however think the comments are pretty funny.
BadLuckBeauty92 17
tell her to stop. period.
MayaShanice 6
"She does it regularly once a month." Well, duh. Men. :|