Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparents' house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony… until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML
Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the beach. We were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I noticed that a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
Today, at my grandad's funeral, as my dad and aunt poured his ashes into the hole, a strong gust of wind blew the ashes into my throat. I choked on my grandad. What made it worse was that the vicar had to stop her prayer to laugh. FML
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML
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Top comments
toelie 26
They will have to poo eventually though, so chances the ashes'll end up in the sea after all (or on someone's head) are pretty good.
MandaMalice 0
When my Uncle died he told my Aunt to put his ashes in a douche so he could rest in his favorite place. No! I did NOT ask her if she did it!
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Comments (134)
lilly1185 3
No, they were probably picking at some fish or small animals that got caught in the tide. When you're incinerated there is carbon monoxide and a general taste of burnt stuck to it. Soak a ham in gasoline, set it on fire, reduce it to ash. Leave it on the beach and see if the seagulls will even touch it. Bet not. Also, 99 is right.
SCOLA 0
you are what you eat so next time you see a seagull say hey what up unck!
bearcat123 0
I agree with 1 we should go hunt that bastard down
Vagrarian 2
That's actually kinda funny, and hardly screws up your life. A friend of mine was scattering his mother's ashes when a wind kicked up and he breathed in a bunch of her...now THAT was an FML!
WhyDidImissThat 0
74. I could not agree more with you. that was beyond gross and stupid of the jackass who posted that.
jmh96 0
why weren't you on a boat?
punkglamazon 0
it's both digusting and fascinating at the same time.
spiderbesideher 0
life's a bitch and then you die and some ******* seagull eats you and then poops you out of his ass. it is a vicious cycle.
yipee 0
hahahahahahaha dead man
ohheykiwi 2
That is fcking disgusting, what he wanted. When I go to the beach, I don't want to swim around in some dead guy.
bluefairy_fml 24
In the countries where spreading someone's ashes in the sea is permitted, that is regulated by law. They can't just drop the ashes near the beach, they have to sail farther from the shore, just so people don't "swim around in some dead guy". So, no need to worry :)
ohheykiwi 2
But the FML says 'waiting for the waves to come and take him away', which means they basically dropped the ashes on the shore and waited for the sea to do its thing.