Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparents' house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony… until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML
Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the beach. We were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I noticed that a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
Today, at my grandad's funeral, as my dad and aunt poured his ashes into the hole, a strong gust of wind blew the ashes into my throat. I choked on my grandad. What made it worse was that the vicar had to stop her prayer to laugh. FML
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML
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Top comments
toelie 26
They will have to poo eventually though, so chances the ashes'll end up in the sea after all (or on someone's head) are pretty good.
MandaMalice 0
When my Uncle died he told my Aunt to put his ashes in a douche so he could rest in his favorite place. No! I did NOT ask her if she did it!
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Comments (134)
illmatic2 16
I killed a seagull once.
yakyak132 0
y wud u say he tasted good
pinkpillowz 0
hahahaa @47 I was thinking that too.
sallen0046 4
Seagulls eat just about anything, and are especially fond of things that look like tiny rocks which aid in their digestion. Crushed bone looks very much like pebbles from a distance. You should have chosen a location that wasn't covered in seagulls to begin with.
scoobtig 11
YDI for getting him creamated, sick monsters
angela3222 0
@82, Go to hell, maybe he wanted to be cremated, n it's a lot cheaper to get cremated then to get the grave and stuff.
thornpop 0
Ohhhhh harsh
UpYoursInAdvance 0
Damn Seagulls... this is the second Seagull FML in like two or three days but I think this one is sadder FYL and your family's life OP...
jjrebel26 0
wouldn't this be f his life, why does this affect your life?
junkboy 4
I hate seagulls. Alot.
angela3222 0
Stupid seagulls. I feel bad OP, you don't deserve that.