Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "That's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "Push a little harder" while dissecting a frog. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML
Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML
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Top comments
LemonStarship 5
Haha want some bananas?
jakeisawake 3
You should have flung poo at the teacher as you left the classroom. Now that's imitating a monkey.
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Comments (154)
metastate 0
Good day, nice knowing you, Dr.
DocBastard 40
Sorry, are you going somewhere? Or do you plan on saying something so offensive that you get yourself banned? Save your platitudes for someone who gives a shit.
Sirin_fml 47
Metastate, the reply function exists for a reason; please stop spamming and posting out-of-context comments.
TryptamineDreame 0
DocBastard, I will soon be a married woman, but I love what you say. I actually think I love you. :)
DocBastard 40
Thanks, Dreamy. Metastate almost made me cry. Now I can go to sleep in peace.
Sirin_fml 47
Metastate, the reply function exists for a reason; please stop spamming and posting out-of-context comments. [hypocritical me]
TryptamineDreame 0
Lmao, Sirin, I'm on the same boat as they are, my phone does not provide a reply button for me either. :(
metastate 0
Reply function isn't available for mobile.
metastate 0
KaySL, I am trying my best to restrain. Getting offensive isn't what I wanted to do, I just wish to say what I wanna say like what you are doing. You could report me to the mods. I am fine with that. If you could, why not? I was just trying to say reply function isn't available for mobile. That's all I wanted to say. It would be ludicrous if I get banned while saying that. About the previous conflict, it was between doc and I in the first place. I've submitted and two of us do wish to let the matter rest. Why couldn't you?
DocBastard 40
I haven't let anything rest! Get up and fight like a man, damn you! Okay fine, I guess I can let it go. Would it help if I said "between doc and me?" Hee hee! This is fun.
metastate 0
Yup, Alan really sorry about that. I am trying to let go. Doc, time for us to let go. Peace! Hee hee, I thought it was fun too! :D P.S: Reply function isn't available for mobile. it is important they I write it here in case I get reported to the Moderators. /facepalms
marinus_fml 20
You should have said "monkey see, monkey do"
GoodLookingGeese 10
YDI for being a born mo**n!
metastate 0
Oh! Thanks! Didn't know that. :)