Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML
Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
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Top comments
teehee520 0
Lmao, an origami vajayjay?! That's pretty awesome.
narwhalz 0
Just imagine what he can do with those hands!
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Comments (131)
Untoxicated 0
Haha :D had to vote both on this one. FYL cause.. well. that sucks. YDI just cause 1. rather its your fault you went out looking ugly or 2. its your fault you went to a crappy bar! :D but. An origami vajayjay IS pretty AWSOME :D lol
great_lawl 0
@ 18- ahahahah so true but that's really creepy, f your life
lolwut_fail 0
#32. Hello there. Marry me please...unless you're into that whole prenup thing.
NorfolkDude 2
For women, going to a bar is probably the worst idea ever. There are lots of deperate guys in that bar, and all the good ones are not in a bar. If you're looking to be "picked up" I suggest going elsewhere.
xoxo_121 0
sucks to be youu!
xoxo_121 0
sucks to be youu!
erroneousx2 0
LOL 15, it wouldnt surprise me, it sounds like something he'd do. Actually, come to think of it, I think this might've been him? Weeeird
funsize003 0
hahah omg this is by far my favorite FML in a while. so classic. btw...you don't know what he's put in that ******. I would be extremely careful with it.
Nakedsquirrel 5
Maybe the girl that had a one-night stand with the dude who lit his fart on fire also ****** this guy.
laurisshnazzy 0
#2 has it right - clubs are so much better. Although, I'd be pretty psyched if I got an origami ******. Pretty cool shit there.