Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML
Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML
Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Why do you have to try to be sweet? Are you normally a bitter dick?
megpie20693 11
Maybe you caught her in a bad mood?
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Comments (78)
Durrettj10 5
And single. Time for gf to go bye bye.
Wizboy 17
You should've been like, "Wow, your math is bad.."
laurbear87 8
C
Reon_fml 4
I don't get why she's in a relationship with you if she doesn't rly... respect you. You deserve better!
GetAtMeBruh 4
could always say, yea now I know what I don't want
Mf2307 15
you got to wonder if she really wants the relationship with a response like that, i would of that it would of made 2 of them
kriz_allizwell 6
Still a better love story than Gigli
Derpylicious 3
Could it possibly be your fault she said that? If not, leave her immediately.
CoyoteOldOne 17
Dump immediately. Possibly while shouting "Bad Touch! No Means No.!"
Nave42 7
Well, this is one of those rare times when you really should think about ending it.