Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML
Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML
Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Why do you have to try to be sweet? Are you normally a bitter dick?
megpie20693 11
Maybe you caught her in a bad mood?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
DarkHelmet 10
Sounds like its time for you to test the waters OP
perdix 31
Were you on top of her best friend when you delivered this line?
DrunkButterfly 17
Aw I'm sorry. :( I hate it when girls act like that.
oj101 33
I hope you're normally good to her... the "trying to be sweet" implies you are not a very romantic nor kind person. It's time to re-evaluate how you treat her.
pradip 26
She meant one happy couple. After marriage she'll become your better half, half plus half is...
DocBastard 40
This has to be one of the most sickeningly sweet, disgustingly romantic comments I've ever seen. It makes me want to vomit. Nicely done, sir. I wish I could thumb this up more than once.
tj5810 21
Finally, victory for Pradip! :D
mountainmanneil 7
She sounds like hers pannies are bunched up about somthing.... Wait out the storm or, move to calm waters..
PincessBoff 6
Pannies? Do you mean panties?
xicebearx 8
Is it that time of month? If it is, then don't take it too personally. Otherwise, that's an extremely rude thing to say and I'm sorry OP.
DrunkButterfly 17
It's rude no matter if it's "that" time of the month or not!
mistercrow 9
You sure she is girlfriend? Sounds like a puta who just be using you :p
Felmacar 4
Agree with you.
kingaling 4
I woulda dumped her right after her reply.
Shmatterhorn 38
Wow. Sounds like someone really wants to get dumped.