Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today I got fired from a very promising new job where I made three times my previous salary from my previous job. Why? Because of a personal belonging, my bumper sticker that says, "How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." FML
Today, I dinged my boss's very expensive car. My car wasn’t damaged, so in a panic, I moved my car to another spot and said nothing. Less than an hour later, my boss showed me high definition security footage, so now I either cough up repair money I can’t afford, or I get fired. FML
Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML
Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, my extremely racist coworker was doing his usual thing. Since it was 9/11 he went absolutely hardcore on his "jokes" so I reported it to my supervisor. She asked what did he say specifically and I recited it to her. She decided to write me up for "making inappropriate comments at work". FML
Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted, "I'm going to kill you and use your head as a hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, my newly ex-boyfriend, who is also my co-worker, threw me under the bus about our relationship, except he claimed it was a one-sided relationship. I offered to show the consensual texts between us, but he insisted it’s “Photoshopped.” I was fired anyway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kirby1964 20
Tell your manager the truth. Get some sticker remover. It is sold at car parts stores. Sorry your ex is a jerk.
tounces7 28
This should be easily resolved. Surely your manager isn't so stupid that he doesn't realize literally anyone could put a bumper sticker on your car. Although he does work for the government, so maybe....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (15)
kirby1964 20
Tell your manager the truth. Get some sticker remover. It is sold at car parts stores. Sorry your ex is a jerk.
RichardPencil 32
Which "truth?"
ThrottleJockey 36
Goo Gone is great stuff.
RichardPencil 32
“They” want you to stop telling the truth. So, are you MIHOP or LIHOP?
tounces7 28
This should be easily resolved. Surely your manager isn't so stupid that he doesn't realize literally anyone could put a bumper sticker on your car. Although he does work for the government, so maybe....
sunnyray812 42
I hope the outcome doesn't turn into the other work FMLs where the OP gets fired for something that's not his/her fault.
chosha_fml 27
Sounds like breaking up with the ex was a very wise move. What an asshole.
poeserpursche 11
So? Did he ccome clean and told you the truth about 9/11?!
Linda Mau 10
walk in stare and say calmly "the bumper sticker was an inside job"
maroongrad 13
Time to have your boss talk to her boss...about harassing his/her employee, causing problems at his/her work, wasting his/her time, etc. Can you say "Backfire"?
BeachMammal 8
Unless it's a city car, or used on the job, your boss should have no say over your bumper stickers anyway.
Itsbeenalong 5
This is what happens when you only live 1012 yards away from each other.