Today, my ex-wife, who I have a 1000-yard restraining order against since she threatened my new wife and our kids, moved into a house down the street. The police say they can't do anything because her house is more than 1000 yards from mine. It's 1012 yards away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML
Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML
Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML
Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half. FML
Today, after almost a year of dating and getting dumped out of the blue, I found out my ex-girlfriend wants to get a restraining order against me. I guess dropping a box of her things on her porch after she wouldn't answer her phone is considered stalking. FML
Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML
Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML
Today, I was nearly T-Boned at a stop sign by my ex-roommate. I moved 10 miles away to get away from her after her midlife crisis, and her losing the house, and now avoid her end of town. She now works outside my apartment. FML
Today, my abusive ex-husband thought it was a good idea to buy the house next door and start living there immediately. Looks like I gotta move. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sunnyray812 42
Remember that a restraining order is just a piece of paper, and that's exactly how people like her see it. The law can't do anything to help you right now, so always keep your guard up and protect your family.
BloodyButUnbowed 32
That's genuinely scary. If you don't own a gun, consider one.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (21)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Keep standing 999 yards away from her, so she has to constantly avoid violating it, until she gets the point.
TxKitten79 10
Then he's in violation of the order and can get in trouble.
BloodyButUnbowed 32
Only if the restraining order is mutual. If it's only on her, it's solely her responsibility to keep away from him. In theory, at least. If you flat-out harassed someone after getting a restraining order, e.g., by cornering the person, then the judge probably wouldn't look too kindly on the hijinks.
sunnyray812 42
Remember that a restraining order is just a piece of paper, and that's exactly how people like her see it. The law can't do anything to help you right now, so always keep your guard up and protect your family.
BloodyButUnbowed 32
That's genuinely scary. If you don't own a gun, consider one.
Sinshine 28
Or some pepper spray and a phone to call the police with like a rational person.
Dirtysalamander1 13
are you that stupid? reread the op post again.
stormy0307 16
When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
Hoeksche 10
a gun.. yes because that will solve everything, this is why the whole world thinks the usa is strange.
Dirtysalamander1 13
you are quick to think it's in the usa. not one time did they mention their location
BigCrawley 5
When you have an irrational ex, don't expect a rational solution.
PenguinPal3017 19
A vigilante should make her feel very unwelcome. Anyone who threatens children more than deserves it. Her moving so close is a perpetual threat in its own. If I lived in your city I'd help.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Are you feeling okay? Where's the "Now that's what I call a sticky situation!" response?
PenguinPal3017 19
You're right, I'm breaking character.
sunnyray812 42
OP's situation is so serious that it's no longer sticky.
whiskey'swino 15
Maybe they should amend it to "now thats what I call a tricky situation"
whiskey'swino 15
I heard the Psycho stabbing noises reading your post. They say the best revenge is a life happily lived. You must have been too perfect in your happiness to piss her off enough to pull this craziness. Yikes..
chosha_fml 27
So if you walk more than 12m down your own road she has to leave her house?
zomboid 9
Yes. By law she can own and reside in the property, but must be notified EVERY (hint hint) time she is in violation of the restraining order. To include; passing on the street, at the mail box ( if within the restraining order limits), going to a neighbor's house, ect. Which if done properly, while notifying law enforcement and having evidence of both the transgression and their knowledge of said transgression, will put them in jail by Christmas. ;)
TxKitten79 10
No. if he does that then HE'S in violation because he's knowingly put himself within the limits
RichardPencil 32
That’s still over a half a mile away. You should be able to find ways to avoid her.
Alexiskovich 6
Good luck knowing you OP. I don't look forward to seeing pictures of you and your family on the news.
Deez_Knots 10
I’d move. She’s definitely insane. Or put up security cameras at least to catch her in case she’s creeping around ur house at night
onceuponatime456 16
Go to court and explain to a judge what she did! She made a mockery of the court order and no judge will put up with that!
cbchawks 14
I agree with this one
rodfergie 18
Let the judge know that she's driving by your house everyday now to knowingly violate his restraining order. Judges get very upset when they feel that they're being made fun of.
TxKitten79 10
A judge is going to say she's not violating the order as long as she stays 1,000 yards away. She's legally doing nothing wrong so it's not actionable.
nonameDE 11
It makes it very difficult to follow the rule, because he is even not able to go 29 m in one direction. It harms his freedom