Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML
Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML
Today, after being excited and trying to make plans with all my friends, they all turned out to be busy. After watching Netflix most of the night, I check my Snapchat stories only to see them all hanging out without me at one of their houses. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML
Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML
Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML
Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Raleigh_bruh 7
I hate that show.. That's sad, Op.
Ray_of_midnight 23
There are therapies and medications that can help with social anxiety, if it's affecting your life to this extent. I suggest you get help.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (234)
Sipos 0
Don't feel bad about the way you feel. If you want to watch TV then watch TV but, if you regret not going out, find something less intimidating to go and do it. Don't let people make you feel bad about what you want.
MischiefManaged 0
can everyone stop acting like it's something that's so simple to fix? it's not!! she can't just go out. it's a lot harder than that.
leaveitbe 0
OP. . . you know how I know your gay?!
Hairnomore 7
Don't get punched in the face OP
coco715 0
I have the same disorder.. it sucks. Its hard to find and keep friends.. my life sucks
reefergal 0
trust me ppl i have that problem too i dont stay home and watch jersey shore though lol i go out but the whole time im kinda freakin out on the inside feelin like everyones staring at me judging me etc etc itsuckss
coco715 0
i know what you mean me too... when people find out, they're surprised i feel that way since i hide it well. But after going out and having to deal with that, its exhausting and rather just stay home
blockhead428 0
Pretend to be on Jersey Shore? Why does anyone want to pretend to be with those *****? I find Italian women to be some of the most beautiful women, but those guido male douchebags should go contract aids and die slowly. That would be an episode of Jersey Shore I wouldn't miss. Oh and Scooby or Snoopy or whatever her name is, if she could lay off the twinkies, she might look as good as some of the "practice" chicks I went to high school with.
thefmlinator 10
wow... jersey shore.......FYL
lol_kDizzle 0
that's really sad dude. :c I know how that shit is.