Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML
Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML
Today, after being excited and trying to make plans with all my friends, they all turned out to be busy. After watching Netflix most of the night, I check my Snapchat stories only to see them all hanging out without me at one of their houses. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML
Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML
Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML
Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
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Top comments
Raleigh_bruh 7
I hate that show.. That's sad, Op.
Ray_of_midnight 23
There are therapies and medications that can help with social anxiety, if it's affecting your life to this extent. I suggest you get help.
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Comments (234)
kristian221 0
how sad :(
pvthill 0
Peanut butter is the answer
Umbreon_fml 0
Peanut butter is ALWAYS the answer.
crashlovekayla 0
unless you happen to be alergic to peanuts...
pvthill 0
well then jelly is the answer
pvthill 0
I like ur view on peanut butter and wth is anti flood protection grrrr
Umbreon_fml 0
If you're allergic to peanuts, nutella is the answer. if you're allergic to chocolate, hazelnut butter is the answer. if you're allergic to all legumes/nuts to begin with, strawberry jam is the answer, and if you're allergic to strawberries, well.......FYL.
pvthill 0
wow we are getting way too deep into allergies I believe we was talking about peanut butter and jelly
Umbreon_fml 0
I've met people allergic to some pretty weird things, including strawberries.
pvthill 0
strawberries are good with chocolate as long as ur not allergic to chocolate then I would switch to whipped cream then if ur allergic to strawberries switch it up to bannannas and peanut butter and if that doesn't work because of peanut allergy fyl
Umbreon_fml 0
Actually I am dihydrogen monoxide intolerant which means I'm allergic to all of that. =[
pvthill 0
damn fyl how old r u if ur 18 fy sex life lol .... and fml fy anti flood thing
Umbreon_fml 0
Dude, I'm messing with you. Dihydrogen Monoxide is water. =P I'm not allergic to anything except rabbits, and since I don't find rabbit fur to be sexually satisfying, I think I will somehow be okay.
pvthill 0
water is highly allergic that is not funny giving me a fake diagnosis wat about them people who are allegic to water ur making fun of their allergy how would u feel if they put rabbit fur in ur pool
pvthill 0
I kinda figured u was lying cuz u said peanut butter is the answer and hydro is a water prefix but I'm not really trying to dig in wat u r allergic to
Umbreon_fml 0
Nobody is allergic to water... because your body is composed 70% of water. The air you breathe is infused with molecules of water. All the food items you eat have water in them. NOBODY IS ALLERGIC TO WATER.
FFML_314 12
You can have an "allergic" type reaction to water. Aquagenic Pruritis, although very rare is infact real. It's not a histamine but, it's more of a hypersensitivity to water.
Umbreon_fml 0
You can be hypersensitive to something and not be "allergic". I was speaking allergic in the sense of breaking out in hives, swelling, itching, closure of the bronchial tube, and other such common reactions. If it is indeed possible to break out in hives from consuming water, I think that I may have to lose all faith in anything I've ever been told......by anyone.
FFML_314 12
I'm sorry to do this to you but, it is possible. The reaction comes from not only being in water or touching water but, there have been cases of people that break out in a rash just from sweating. What a horrible disease to have. I couldn't imagine.
pvthill 0
is this allergy 101 or do yall have a rivalry going on?
Umbreon_fml 0
I didn't mean to start any type of rivalry, I just tend to have people try to show me up because I take an unsympathetic approach to things such as disorders. I'm not sure what opinion she has of me. One second I'm not a mindless jerk and the next I am. All I know is that if you can be allergic to something you're made of, the world is a cruel place that makes entirely no sense. I feel sorry for those who have to be allergic to their own composition. Brings a whole new meaning to "I can't stand myself"
FFML_314 12
I still stick to the fact that you're not a mindless jerk. You have an opinion just like the rest of us. I don't have an opinion about you because, I don't know you. I appreciate everyone's opinion, even if I disagree in some aspects. I'm not starting a rivalry, that guy is just weird. With the water subject, I was just stating a fact. A lot of people don't actually know there is such a thing. :]
Umbreon_fml 0
It's not LETHAL though, is it?
FFML_314 12
That part I'm not sure of. I would have to look it up.
myfriend_youfail 3
My best friend has aquagenic pruritis... It doesn't make her throat close, nothing like that. She just swells up when she showers or drinks too much water. She can literally weigh 120 pounds in the morning, and 123 pounds after a shower ten minutes later. Instant water weight and bloating. Her skin gets tight and itchy and irritated and red, she looks bigger, her clothing doesn't fit right. It's more a nuisance than a health hazard. She gets the same way when she sweats. She can shower and go swimming and do everything she wants...it just makes her bloat up.
EminGH 7
As long as you're happy.
dingo353 0
Jersey Shore- Pathetic !
RedEG4 1
Fefe to get over you anxiety you need to confront it, watching Jersey shore is probably worse for your health than going out.
SpectatingOne 0
What is it that you fear from life that is preventing you from enjoying it to it's fullest? Not that I'm saying a woman such as yourself isn't allowed to pursue her own path of happiness, but consider this rather, is true happiness found within ones self or in the self of others? Of course all that I say is in the eye of the beholder. What you get from my wisdom is what you put into it. Think about it.
pvthill 0
we are still on the peanut butter topic ur post might get replied to wen someone decides they don't like peanut butter
pvthill 0
I think ur digging a lil too deep in this just leave a small comment and we will get to you in a second
pvthill 0
i'm alergic to some candy we was this sweet candy made I like mine made fro year of 1985 1991
pvthill 0
we= when damn I phone
RezaDupontDC 0
you need your meds!