tmac05
United States
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
thecarisfine
Brisbane, Australia
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Whyme
United States
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Arlington, United States
Denial
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
fart
Houghton Lake, United States
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Anonymous
Plymouth, United States
Fidgeting
Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML
let ‘Er rip
The Sweet Smell of Success
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Anonymous
United States
Great date, thanks!
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
oops
United States
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Anonymous
Hayward, United States
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Anonymous
Time to flee the crime scene
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Top comments
sallen0046 4
So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.
DrDoofenshmirtz 0
Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.
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Comments (50)
DrDoofenshmirtz 0
Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.
ipwnlosers 4
OMG PERRY the platypus!! <3
RedPillSucks 33
That's perrys "after" picture. His "before" picture is what the dog is grabbing in #22's profile picture.
sammyderose123 0
lamo #21 that's hilarious. OP, trust me, its not a big deal even if you did the farting. If one fart is enough for him not to call for date #2, then he wasn't worth it. I would have laughed through the embarassment. Sorry, I don't see the FML. F Your Date maybe
jose1760 1
Was it wet?
sallen0046 4
So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.
xkittykatx 0
this made me giggle xD
kristineszLIFE 0
Probably was you
cdatribe23 0
no need to be ashamed!! we all kno it was u....u little devil u lol
Jewelofagal 2
According to the book "Waiter Rant", that's an evil technique used by waiters when one party at a table is being a jerk.
skyeyez9 25
I hope you didn't tip the waiter.
Judus_beej 0
lol that's what you get for not tipping last time.