Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, after weeks of being hounded to go out on a date with this guy, I finally found the time and invited him over, fully intending to hook up. He stood me up. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, a guy I've been dating for a year asked me to meet him for dinner and a couple of drinks. After dinner, he confessed that he's been seeing another woman and has decided he wants to seek a relationship with her. He then told me how sex with me is great, but he didn't want me to continue being "the other woman." FML
Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gabagabaheyu 10
maybe explain that a relationship isn't a business. there shouldn't be "quotas" for sex. it should just happen when it happens.
gracehi 33
Introduce him to the "**** Off" quota.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
SKaiiHiGH 2
Sheldon much???
Ziggy122 15
Sheldon wouldn't instill a coitus quota.
ZorroRooster 19
Given the content of the FML, you didn't need the NOT at the end of your name, OP. The sarcasm would have been picked up just fine without it.
buckdharma 38
Production is up, but every month he still winds up in the red.
thrlyrist 6
Is that a min quota or a max quota?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Everyone does seem to be assuming it's a "I want more sex" rather than a "Oh God! It's almost falling off from overuse!" quota.
clair_brodie 35
I would be for it...
Melkboy 7
And the problem is? Is it too often, do you not like quotas or do you think sex is icky?
Fou_Lou 20
That people dont like to feel forced to have to have sex?
Ziggy122 15
Part of it might be that she'd only been seeing the guy for two weeks?
Ziggy122 15
Ah, yes, throwing on the old "nice guy" charm so he can play the "friendzone" card when you reject his sexual advances.
Ki11erC 18
Maybe it's her that wants it to much... Albeit odd it's entirely plausible.
Exaspera 55
Is he perhaps the manager of a factory? Maybe it's just his particular mindset? :-P Demand bonuses!
flapjax68 4
Seems pretty reasonable