Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband is so bored with speaking to me, he literally walked outside when I was mid-sentence during a conversation about how I need more attention in our relationship. We've only been married 3 months. FML
Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML
Today, after a nasty fight with my military husband, which resulted in mandatory marriage counseling, he told me we needed to talk about the fight. Not talk it over and apologize; talk it over so our stories are consistent when we see the therapist. FML
Today, my husband (M72) and I (F69) had yet another argument over all the time he spends away from home doing hobbies and volunteering. After an emotional conversation about my moving out, he said, "Well, if we are done talking about that, let me tell you what I got to do today." Biggest emotional slap ever. FML
Today, my husband has a terrible temper and starts screaming for everything. Consequently, I've learnt to deflect and shift blame to save myself. He says he flies off the handle because I shift blame, while I do it to avoid being verbally abused. Made for each other much? FML
Today, my husband suddenly decided he was going to stop talking about all the changes he needed to make, and finally do them. That's great, except that in less than a day, he lost his shit at me and our young kids for not immediately fixing everything about ourselves as well. They're still sobbing and he doesn't care. FML
Today, I tried to tell my boyfriend how I have been feeling recently in our relationship. He lashed out at me, saying I was just accusing him of being the bad guy. I guess I'll never express my feelings ever again. FML
Today, I realized that over 20 years ago I married a man who could never mature, after we had a marital argument and he couldn't just have an one side, but rather decided to involve our 11 year-old old son, allowing him to repeat his words toward me, like "bitch", "whore", and "cunt." FML
Today, I asked my husband to be a little more responsible, pick up after himself, and spend a little less. I earn more than he does, so it's usually my money that he splurges. He has gone on a non-stop tantrum for the past 5 hours, giving me the cold shoulder, and shouting at me. What have I gotten myself into? FML
Today, I contemplated leaving my husband because his best friend is overbearing and doesn't respect the boundaries of our relationship, all while talking bad about me to him. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
If it’s been going on for 6 months, why is the wedding still on?
Bogrbon 27
End the engagement. It's only going to get worse once you tie that knot. It may not be your fault, it may not even be his fault, but this is NOT going to last. In my experience, the most toxic relationship dynamic after outright abusive behavior is when a wife is ambitious for her husband, but her husband is laid back and just wants to enjoy life. She wants him to do, be and earn more, and he just wants to enjoy life and do enough to get by and enjoy his hobbies. Neither is necessarily wrong in their approach to life, but they do NOT combine. The husband will think his wife is always nagging and trying to kill his free time and enjoyment of life, and the wife will think her husband is a deadbeat who doesn't want to take care of her or her future children. I've seen this with at least 3-4 friends whose marriages ended over this same dynamic.
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Comments (12)
mike3775 39
If it’s been going on for 6 months, why is the wedding still on?
spinningrecords 14
Maybe he doesn’t want to and he doesn’t want you to direct what he does
spinningrecords 14
Maybe he doesn’t want to and he doesn’t want you to direct what he does
Shzusuziq11 12
if he screams at you, don't marry the guy!
RichardPencil 32
Breaking up is cheaper than divorce. Jus' sayin'...
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 24
Absolutely, learn from my mistakes and many others. If there is a single red flag, no go. And heck, even if there aren't any, why does everyone always want to get married? It doesn't fix everything, you know?
Billsonhamsen 17
One red flag means nothing. I had a lot of concerns before I got married but my marriage is better now than it was the day we got married. I've been married for 12 years. You got to watch out for multiple red flags. There's always going to be one red flag. No red flags is a red flag itself.
Billsonhamsen 17
But I agree that she needs to get this worked out before she gets married.
Charlie Given 28
RED FLAGS A WAVING 👋 time to go
Bogrbon 27
End the engagement. It's only going to get worse once you tie that knot. It may not be your fault, it may not even be his fault, but this is NOT going to last. In my experience, the most toxic relationship dynamic after outright abusive behavior is when a wife is ambitious for her husband, but her husband is laid back and just wants to enjoy life. She wants him to do, be and earn more, and he just wants to enjoy life and do enough to get by and enjoy his hobbies. Neither is necessarily wrong in their approach to life, but they do NOT combine. The husband will think his wife is always nagging and trying to kill his free time and enjoyment of life, and the wife will think her husband is a deadbeat who doesn't want to take care of her or her future children. I've seen this with at least 3-4 friends whose marriages ended over this same dynamic.
Crowned Sataness 12
you need to cancel or "postpone indefinitely" and RUN. it's only going to get worse. do you really want to try to live the rest of your life like this? or possibly bring children into this? get out while you can
rockyannie 11
RED FLAG ALERT. this needs to be taken care of BEFORE you marry him. something is going on and it WILL ONLY GET WORSE. I CAN NOT SAY HOW BIG OF A CAUTION RED FLAG THAT THIS IS.
Hangryko 32
Please dump him. This will not work out.