Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, who I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I used a men's hair removal cream to be smooth for my partner, as a surprise. It turns out that doing that made her think I was cheating on her. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML
Today, my husband decided to surprise me with some "sexy" manscaping. When he took his clothes off, I immediately got drier than the Sahara desert. He was going for "porn star" but instead looked like a prepubescent kid, which immediately turned me off. He then got mad at me for “ruining the mood.” FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML
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Top comments
Nysha 17
<p>It is quick and easy, and it's always a good idea to get tested, but it doesn't solve the problem that OP's husband apparently has zero trust towards them.</p>
kaysheik 16
Why not go get an STD check to show him it's nothing? It's quick and easy
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Comments (36)
kaysheik 16
Why not go get an STD check to show him it's nothing? It's quick and easy
Nysha 17
<p>It is quick and easy, and it's always a good idea to get tested, but it doesn't solve the problem that OP's husband apparently has zero trust towards them.</p>
Thetooliest 4
As a military man myself, you would be surprised of the amount of wives and girlfriends that cheat on their SO while deployed. A friend of mine's wife didn't even last 3 weeks before she cheated on him. It happens, but like the others are saying, get an STD test to prove otherwise. That's the smartest thing to do.
cheshireau 26
She shouldn't have too. He should trust her. If she wants to show him evidence of razor burn, google images would have tonnes.
JustTheTruth42 13
In the husband's defense you'll be surprised how many women think it's okay to cheat if their husbands are deployed.
lfsabtch 4
While I agree the husband should be trusting, if the wife really is faithful (I'm sure she is) then getting a test should be no problem, and it's never going to be a bad idea to get tested. If there's something that looked suspicious, a test could set everyone's mind's at ease.
live2loveurself 11
Just go get checked to prove it to him
russellohh 2
<p>yeah! And tomorrow when you sneeze funny and he thinks its an STD, you'll be back at the clinic. And when you shave your leg and get a nic, he will take you back to the doctor to prove its not TWO STDs. What a lovely marriage!</p>
Solano2580 24
Did you actually go to a doctor to get tested with your husband with you at all times?
russellohh 2
<p>i hope she didn't, since it would only be invalidating his mental illness</p>
Solano2580 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Also I think your gender got mixed up, unless you refer to your dick as "lady bits" in which case you must be comfortable with your small genitalia.
snapples 0
I think your the one who got OP's gender mixed up. No where does it imply that lady bits means a dick. From the context and usage of the word, her gender is implied as female.
snapples 0
Am I'm missing something here, how is OP mixing up the gender? Where does it say that OP is a male?
clawster24 8
The image in the corner of the post says the OP is male
chinaski7628 32
The icon by the user name is the male icon. I believe that's what the original commenter is referring to.
cheshireau 26
I think OP is referring to the little icon that usually has a bob hair cut for a lady. This one doesn't.
PhoenixChick 26
<p>Guys it's pretty clear Solano is referring to the gender identifier below the story, not the text of the story itself.</p>
russellohh 2
<p>there's an icon under the post that shows the gender of the poster. </p>
Sparkieemae 14
The app is all screwed up right now. I posted one a few weeks back, it was posted pretty recently referring to getting an IUD and it gendered me as male which is literally impossible.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
<p>And he didn't notice all the missing hair?... </p>
Tripartita 45
That's why you should've saved your pubic hair and shown I to him as proof! Next time, OP.
The_Sexomancer 11
I wonder why the genders have been switched lately? Most of the time it doesn't matter, but I've never heard a man refer to his privates as "lady bits." And also (prepare for minor rant) I'm a little disheartened by the addition of advertisements to the app. I know, why waste an opportunity for effortless money? But I've been using the app for 7 years and the ease of access and use is one of things that made this website a go-to for me. And I went most of that time without leaving a comment, bec
TabooSushi 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Pay the $1 to get rid of the adds and stop whining. It's a bit late for complaining now since the ads got put on the app ages ago.
The_Sexomancer 11
Right. TabooSushi, part of the reason I never commented is because of all the condescending dicks on here. Instead of simply agreeing, or disagreeing, you tell me to stop whining. And I agree with the man above, no idea how to get the paid version. It used to be in the App Store, this is the only one I can find. And I'm not talking about the ads at the bottom of your screen, I'm talking about the unskippable 30 second shit when you open it. So hand-in-hand with the increasingly shit community an
J352SAURUS 30
I paid for the app years ago. Now I just have to put up with ads again. What a waste of money. The worst ads are the long ones that pop up when you open the app, and it won't let you skip it. When it finally comes to a close, the exit button is so ******* small that 9.5 times out of 10 it will take you to the App Store or the website for whatever ad you were shown. Pisses me off.
The_Sexomancer 11
And I'm in the same boat as sohigh, taboosushi. No idea how to get the full version. I know there used to be a paid version on the App Store. But I can't find it for the life of me.
sohigh10 34
How do I even do that, there's no straightforward way to pay to get rid of the ads. I contacted the developers twice and they basically told me to suck it up and deal with it because they didn't have that option.
xxmollyxx 25
I just looked, and you will find that option under Settings.
xxmollyxx 25
Its under Settings
The_Sexomancer 11
Right. As I was saying, because I was scared of being judged by condescending pricks. And this site has oh, so many. Well, maybe that is just the internet. But still, I hate how I can't leave a thought without somebody picking it apart, and assuming I'm a moron. So between the declining quality of the app, and the increasingly shit community, I think it might be about time to move on to something else.
Mauskau 36
There's been ads on the app for at least two years now, but they're getting more and more invasive. Opening the app store, 20 second videos to buy glasses, and even creating shortcuts on your home screen to their website. The android app is also messed up at the moment, I'm seeing comment numbers as the total comment number (70,000 etc) rather than 1 or 2, the ratings disappear if you rate a comment and comments get cut off. They used to answer feedback emails but not anymore.
The_Sexomancer 11
Yeah, I know the ads have been around for ages. Maybe I should've specified. It's the ads that lock you into a video that are annoying. And as I type, I am coming to realize how little it matters altogether. Well, that's my input, anyway. Do with it what you will. And have a lovely day
The_Sexomancer 11
Yeah, I know the ads have been on here for some time. Maybe I should've specified, I don't care about the banners dotted around. It's the ads that lock you into a video as soon as you open the app that are annoying. But, as I type I am coming to realize how little it matters altogether. Well, I'll leave it at that, then. Have a lovely day.
The_Sexomancer 11
Yeah, I know the ads have been on here for some time. Maybe I should've specified, I don't care about the banners dotted around. It's the ads that lock you into a video as soon as you open the app that are annoying. But, as I type I am coming to realize how little it matters altogether. Well, I'll leave it at that, then. Have a lovely day.
The_Sexomancer 11
Yeah, I know the ads have been on here for some time. Maybe I should've specified, I don't care about the banners dotted around. It's the ads that lock you into a video as soon as you open the app that are annoying. But, as I type I am coming to realize how little it matters altogether. Well, I'll leave it at that, then. Have a lovely day.
The_Sexomancer 11
Yeah, I know the ads have been on here for some time. Maybe I should've specified, I don't care about the banners dotted around. It's the ads that lock you into a video as soon as you open the app that are annoying. But, as I type I am coming to realize how little it matters altogether. Well, I'll leave it at that, then. Have a lovely day.
CrazyManNo9 29
<p>Seems to me that he protests too much, like maybe he's had experience looking for STD's? I hope I am wrong, but my bet is this dude been doing it.</p>
milman99 3
<p>Its obvious none of you have had the military experience. Some military spouses do cheat when we deploy out and you hear so many horror stories so no matter what any of you think its a legitimate concern but op just go get the test on base at the tmc should suffice.</p>
hisbabyss10 0
I was thinking the same exact thing. Spouses cheating when their husband/wife is gone happens on a regular basis. He does have reason to be concerned...
russellohh 2
<p>I wonder how much more likely a spouse is to cheat if their idiotic husband doesn't understand what razor bumps are? Must be pretty hard to get aroused by a man-child outwitted by a $1 razor...</p>
InfiniteSunshine 32
No, it isn't a legitimate concern, just because a lot of other people cheat, doesn't give you a right to be a paranoid, accusatory jerk. Especially without any real hard evidence, going around making false accusations is a good way to ruin your relationship. And this situation is just plain common sense, no hair, irritation, the most logical conclusion is it would be razor burn.
TXfmylifer 10
Yes, it is a legitimate concern for military members to think the worst after knowing what has happened to others. We even have some on this board confirm it.
lantz4levi 19
Out of curiously have you ever served in the military? Those guys/girls can work over 36 hour shifts at a time with maybe 1 Sunday off every month. When you don't see sunlight for months at a time it's easy to be a little dreary of the outside world. I'm not saying to be worried about it and they have the right too, but cut him a little slack.
karmicqueene 18
<p> After any kind of separation it's normal to be a little out of sorts, and the military can cause extra anxiety, but I fail to see how that's the spouse's fault that her husband is being unfair. Some soldiers cheat while they're on deployment too. Should she make him get tested to prove that he didn't? Good for the goose, good for the gander, after all. </p>
LyricaSilvan 30
So because "some" people do that, that means the lack of trust is okay? That just means everyone does? Get out of here with your bs. Yes, it explains a little bit of why OP's husband is worried, but it doesn't necessarily excuse his lack of faith in her. Healthy relationships require trust, and if OP's husband refuses to even listen to reason, I think that's a pretty big red flag.
wawa_sxm 15
<p>Suuuure....if you were gone for months and come back to your husband all shaved when he never shaved before for you, you wouldnt get suspicious? And then you see bumps? nah get tested, he's been gone too long and you changed your habits while he was gone so yeah</p>
InfiniteSunshine 32
No, I wouldn't be suspicious. Then again, I have a healthy relationship built on love and trust, and I'm damn well not going to accuse him of cheating without hard evidence, (which this is not), ex)pics, texts, recordings. If I came home to him shaved, I would think just that, he just changed his habits. I'm also smart enough to know what razor burn looks like and that no STI looks like it.
species4872 20
<p> Lady bits.... sounds like an add on for the standard model.</p>