megasniper240
Ronkonkoma, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
megasniper240 tells us more.
OP here, to clear it up I was on my futon in my living room and they happened to catch a glimpse through the window. Also, it was an old lady with her husband.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Top comments
anythingmustbe 18
God is everywhere
cr3ativity 15
Jesus is coming!!! Oh wait, you're coming.
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Comments (420)
timotay89 14
Well, at least they'll never bother you again.
ManInTheMachine 20
I'm sure witnessed more action than they could handle in a lifetime OP! That's the best way I've heard someone get rid of JWs. Well, that and Baustigt's dog. It's pretty close.
BriskIsRisky 2
Thats what jesus would do lol
cptmorgan6 8
I think Jesus jerking off would be the sin of all sins.
Llamacod 11
no, I think jabbing jesus in the butt would be the "sin of all sins"
fthislyfe 22
THEY deserved it
andrade_anthony 0
No they didnt
naynaybx 1
I'm pretty sure of u were on fire they will throw a bucket of water every other religion especially catholic would say YOU DESERVE THAT
lucianaamelia 21
At least they'll never come back
t_Griff202 1
I just Hav to say that u are absolutely gorgeous!!
t_Griff202 1
Ha
onlychildFTW 34
Close blinds? Don't do it do if someone else opens a door/window you'll be noticeable.
gracehi 33
Lemme guess... "the face" didn't work?
BubbleGrunge 18
"You get me closer to god!!You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings. You can have absence of faith, you can have my everything!"
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Show them what the good Lord gave you. (; kinda sounds like the start to a sick porno.
Llamacod 11
and by "sick" I presume you mean "totally awesome"
jaredofmo 22
That's a win. Not a fan of those guys who drive around in fancy clothes and drop off pamphlets. I usually throw it away later. Except that one time I was waiting for a bus in a blizzard and got offered one. I just gave them a death glare.
bmkc4 1
I'm personally not a Jehova's Witness, but you should not discriminate against anyone for spreading their faith. They don't deserve death glares. They are people too.
bmkc4 1
Thanks for the definition of the word discrimination 110
jaredofmo 22
I don't tend to discriminate against people's beliefs, but if their belief makes it feel like they're saying they're superior to you (what with the fancy clothes and going out in their nice cars to people who have to take the bus), then actually, I feel a little discriminated against. As for the death glare, re-read it. When I'm standing outside in a blizzard (and yes, I mean BLIZZARD), the last thing I want is a magazine telling me my beliefs are wrong.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Would you rather they walked up to you looking like scum bags? Would that make you feel like less of a loser? And maybe they should take the bus instead of driving the car they've worked to buy. Oh yes, that has a lot to do with religion- what kind of transportation you have. Their magazines also don't tell you your beliefs are wrong. The literature they hand out does not discriminate against or put down anyone for any reason. If they're rude to you, by all means be rude to them but I've never had a witness be anything but polite and understanding if you nicely tell them you're not interested. You're just an ass.
jaredofmo 22
Whatever. I just really don't like their approach.
downtime 13
Yeah, you don't like their approach, so politely tell them you aren't interested. They don't come up to you telling you your beliefs are wrong, telling you you need to listen to them or anything like that. From my few experiences with them they just ask to talk about their religion, and when you say no they leave you alone. You'd have to be a complete jackass to think that's preaching... It's really no more irritating than any other form of advertising, and I don't see how it's that difficult to remain civil and polite to people who are doing the same to you... But going around looking through peoples windows is not on at all, and it is the few who don't behave professionally that deserve everything they get.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Their approach is what the bible teaches. Everyone ignores it but you're supposed to go out and talk about God and let people know your beliefs if you truly believe. Do we all forget Jesus and the apostles? Jehovah's Witnesses just get a bad name because they still actually do it in this day and age. Btw, no I'm not a witness but I know people who are and have heard plenty of stories of people who ARE interested and have had their lives changed by the religion. Don't be rude because it's not your lifestyle.
andrade_anthony 0
We are dressed in that way because god I'd a clean god which is stated in the bible and that is why we dress like that to be clean
jessicaily143 2
Thank you!