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megasniper240 Ronkonkoma, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

megasniper240 tells us more.

OP here, to clear it up I was on my futon in my living room and they happened to catch a glimpse through the window. Also, it was an old lady with her husband.

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

God is everywhere

Jesus is coming!!! Oh wait, you're coming.

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Comments (420)

Airman1988 9

Open the door and offer them q handshake. They may start throwing holy water on you right than, good thing they weren't Catholic or ot would be exorcism time

livvyluvlaf 8

Catholics don't believe in exorcisms. You people need to get your religions right

hcarrillo90 0

jehovas witnesses dont beleive in holy water

kevinn95 0

62- yes they do they even opened a school for preachers that want to learn to perform exorcisms my catholic teacher told me a few months ago while I was in my confirmation class

Airman1988 9

62 I have no more desire to learn the ways of different religions than I do to learn the ways of the force. I prefer to focus on concrete studies rather than abstract.

83 - then don't talk about 'em. If you can't be bothered to learn about something don't bring it up. You'll just make yourself look stupid.

Llamacod 11

*then

trollolol95 4

Actually, Catholics do believe in exorcisms. You need to get your facts about other religions right before correcting others.

livvyluvlaf 8

I am catholic. I think I would know. Exorcisms are wrong and stupid. I went to catholic school for 10 years. (;

Airman1988 9

The lack of humor on humor sites astonishes me, let's all just go pick at others posts and be a-holes all the time, sounds so much more fun.

andrade_anthony 0

We don't use holy water

Livvy just because you dont believe in exorcisms, doesn't mean other Catholics don't. The Vatican has to approve an exorcism but yes, Catholics do believe in exorcisms. As someone already said, they even have classes on exorcisms and demonology. Don't correct other people on religion if you don't know what you're talking about people.

I hope the window was open and you shouted "OH MOTHER OF GOD" as you came.

SO MUCH WIN :)

There so annoying... Shoulda screamed I'm atheist mother f*****!

Llamacod 11

*they're

Why would you do it where people can see you in the first place?

Because its his house

But with the windows open? Or where passerby can see you?

We knew what you meant the first time.

^ please refer to 55's comment again.

My above comment was to 88

Uhhh, you're no fun. Why not?

I still think that's inappropriate. Close the curtains and you could jack off on top of the television for all I care. There could have been children walking by. You never know.

94, I'm reiterating my statement.

193 - I agree with you if he could be seen clearly from the street, but I think it's somewhat more likely that the JWs came into his front yard and only then saw through the window. He might have a high fence or lots of foliage or something. In which case he can maz freely!

SeedlessMe 13

Well, yes- of course it's OP's own house and he can do whatever he wants in whatever room he wants. But if he's going to be so embarrassed and say his life is ****** because someone saw him jerk off, then it would make sense for him to close the blinds! Jeez...

Then those children would be trespassing illegally and therefore in the wrong anyway. Your argument doesn't hold water no matter how you look at it, if someone is looking in through your windows and sees you then they are in the wrong.

Looking into a window casually while walking by isn't trespassing, the last time I checked. Going up to it and pressing your face against it is weird. But casually glancing over?

If you look in the window you deserve whatever you see

Like I said. Don't tell me you haven't been walking somewhere or anything and just derping along and glanced over, and there was a window there.

No if I'm walking I look straight not in people homes

It isn't that common to be able to walk past a place casually and look all the way inside a house and see someone jerking off. You'd expect they were on his property to be able to see him and looking in through the windows.

I bet they didn't knock on the door after they saw that

Well that's one way to keep them from bothering you

missnuthin 10

i think THEY deserved it

MatFHorn97 1

Why would they deserve it?

andrade_anthony 0

They dont do anything wrong why do they deserve it

AlmostaChef 4

If you don't want them coming by anymore, speak in *tongue* to them while you have a red pentagram on your forehead.

crissaay 0

Wtf

Fishinaddict22 1

Maybe they'll finally understand that if we were interested in their religion then we would come to them and to not bother us. Advertisements are every where, I don't need them knocking on my door too.

asherlyb0810 0

When the world ends ull regret that decision

149, You *might regret that decision. The whole argument about religion is that you can't prove anything so we are to rely on personal beliefs - you might want to stick to yours and not try to present them as fact.

Hiimhaileypotter 53

This is hands down the funniest thing I've read all day. Good job, OP!