Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
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Top comments
WhySoSrs 0
That made me laugh. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts, right? :D
Bloodknight 22
Haha wow, he really can turn on the charm can't he, bwahaha!
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Comments (35)
Asstazztic 8
yea well that won't happen with Asstazztic baby ;) lol
jchansfan 0
Yeah, only 'cause you'd be done before the bag caught flame. Assuming that you would even be able to get that far with a girl in the first place... lol :P
misspeg 0
did he still get any nookie from u?
Music_Peace_1234 0
Haha, key word, the guy I "was" seeing.
Ninjaface 0
Of course, the real fml is that your boyfriend had to shake burning plastic on you just to make you hot enough to screw.
powermad80 2
fake. plastic melts, not burns.
LadySteph12 0
FYI, the plastic bag was in flames. Sure, plastic melts, but my point was that it burned my SKIN. Let's not be picky about the words please.
ClownSmilely 0
Ah hell, the sex couldn't have been that good had you stop for the house was on fire. I mean c'mon man!!!
Rico5037 0
is the bag ok?
superkitten_fml 0
Your sex is on fire. :D
shankapotamous15 3
well what the hell is he doing with something that close to the fire anyway? XD
meyer_fml 0
that hurts.