Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML
Out of the blue
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML
Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Today, my mom told my abusive ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with 5 days ago, that he is always welcome at my house. She "misses him". FML
Pants on fire
Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Top comments
gjikvtj 18
Tonight on Maury
Larry01_fml 19
if it was me, I'd still like to know who my kid is even if I had to pay child support
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Comments (127)
cgart96 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
As long as you don't have to pay child support, right?
brand125 17
that doesnt make it better...
Helpfulman 17
Shoulda' wrapped your jimmy.
Faff 20
@26 yes it does, Debbie Downer
foxwasalamb 24
#1, thats a poor attitude to have. If you weren't responsible enough in the first place, then you should have to pay child support.
kingdomgirl94 29
Condoms break, the pill fails. Birth control is never 100% unless you use abstinence, and even that failed for Mary. I'm sure that if OP had been told he would have been doing something, but you can't say he was irresponsible in the first place because shit happens and he didn't know. Don't think that just because someone has an unplanned pregnancy that its because they were stupid or irresponsible; its rude and doesn't take other factors into consideration.
iunpossible 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
@53 are you honestly defending unplanned pregnancies when there exists the simple solution of not having sex till you're ready?
mikbrooke 25
#62 how does unplanned pregnancies relate back to not being ready for sex?
GraceyBlueEyes 13
63 pretty sure he means ready for a kid.
ninety 25
I think 62 means ready for kids, not sex.
ohcheriecherie 20
62's idea works in theory. sort of. but not having sex until you want a kid isn't really going to work out for most of us.
Catkam623 27
@53 this makes me realize that throughout history there has only been one form of birth control that is 100% effective... Anal, we must preach this to the school children so that no one will ever get pregnant again until they want to. (This is not even semi serious, I'm only joking)
BobbieH 19
They may mean that, but it's not how it was phrased, it was ambiguous. Oh and that's just not a realistic idea, it is fantasy land idealism. If it works for them, great; but for most adults sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship.
nastag 10
I realize you're joking but even anal can cause pregnancies if you don't pull out or wear a condom. The semen could drip down into the vigiana.
bfsd42 20
"Even that failed for Mary". That's friggin hilarious. I just hope you don't really believe that drivel.
Lunasis 14
you people are whining about should've wrapped it, and don't defend unplanned pregnancy. are we just gonna give her a free pass and ignore the fact that she ****** got knocked up, left and never told him until it was most likely convenient for her?
Eek74 11
@71 Anal is not a really effective form of birth control; as far as I remember, it is slightly less effective than condoms (which is about 98%), and quite a bit less effective than correctly used pills (about 99.5%). All stats from memory; % are measured by number of women using that method exclusively that get pregnant in a year.
1947Chevy 17
I actually agree with you on this 53. I am an example of such a case. My mom was actually told she could not have children by 3 different doctors before I was born. By all rights I should not exist to be saying this yet I am
incoherentrmblr 22
@ All, Vasectomies and tube tying work best...
z3r0d4z3 22
83 is correct. Also she denied op 6 years of his child's life that he can never get back.
Goblin182 27
#79 Must be where all these shit ass people come from.
2moomoo21 2
# 89 Actually, no. Tube tying is not always 100% either. After I was born, my mother didn't want any more kids. ( I was number 3). She had her tubes tied. 6 years later, my kid sister pops out. The Fallopian tubes can reform and reconnect themselves to the Uterus after "x" amount of years. Even doctors say it's only 99% effective in the first year.
kiki9_fml 10
I'm sorry, but what is a "vigiana"?
nomoreparty 11
79: real life is not ****!! In ur case probably animal ****..
mybubbles2000 13
I have seen this happen many times.
Cloureed 9
Tube tying doesn't work all the time though and if it fails it's lethal.
604 11
*awkward*
pooldude 24
U think?
gjikvtj 18
Tonight on Maury
Lebeaugars95 20
**** her right in the pussy
whiskeey 14
That's what got him into this mess
doctorhook86 25
#44: That wouldn't be hilarious if we hadn't just had that as an FML.
fivetimeslonger 24
You did see op's username right?
loserman67 36
"I need Maury, YOU ARE THE FATHER" - sounds like a stage 5 stalker alert - run for your life
gamersonly1234 5
Bro run. Fast and hard.
Futacy 30
And abandon the kid? That's called being a little bitch.
OysterPearls 33
5, do the world a favor and never have kids. I bet you've never experienced the pain of being abandoned by a parent and growing up wondering what you did wrong to make your father want to leave you alone, and often struggling. And I pray that the children you may have never have to experience it either.
Faff 20
@34, I'm sorry you had to live through that, but the situation you are describing is nothing like OP's
cicora 10
Its not abandonment if he was never told about the child.
doctorhook86 25
#34: If the OP's story is true (and we have no reason to think it's not), then the mother didn't even tell him about this child until six years later. Obviously that doesn't necessarily mean he's off the hook, but the OP is right to be suspicious at this point. Hopefully this is just a cruel prank by an ex.
kingdomgirl94 29
38, 34 was referring to the "run bro run" comment, which if OP did that, would be the same.
OysterPearls 33
Thank you 38, though I'm not the one who has experienced an absentee father, many of my close friends have. And my focus was on 5's "run bro" comment, as 54 said.
Futacy 30
46- You're right, OP didn't abandon anyone. But in the context of 5's comment, it would be.
Paige_Nicoole 7
wow, that's crazy..
Rallred32 20
That's ******* scary. I mean really, really ******* scary. There's just so much stuff that's screwed up here.
mybubbles2000 13
That's not scary, it's sad. All this time he has missed. That is of course if the child is his.
Rallred32 20
It's so sad it's scary. That's what I'm trying to convey here
Redoxx_fml 22
Damn never knew fathers day could be so far from a holiday
Larry01_fml 19
if it was me, I'd still like to know who my kid is even if I had to pay child support
askullnamedbilly 33
It really isn't too complicated, #12. OP slept with his girlfriend and knocked her up. She then broke up with him, either knowing that she was pregnant and unwilling to tell him about it, or as oblivious to the fact as he was. OP's child is now a little over 5 years old, and she only now decided to tell him about it. Unless he has reason to believe she was unfaithful or the timelines don't match up, there isn't much of a mystery here.
doctorhook86 25
#16: After six years without contact, if this is the first she's told the OP about a child, he should be very suspicious. If it was his, why not contact the OP sooner? There's a real possibility that the child could have been conceived with somebody else long after she left the OP, and that she's now lying about the age of the child. At the very least, OP should get a paternity test.
Meanmommy02 11
Some women either don't care to have the dad involved. Didn't think he'd care or want the child. As to now on the timing the kid should be old enough to start asking questions.
doctorhook86 25
#82: That's a pretty weak excuse then. Even if she thought OP was a terrible person and would make a bad father, at least she could've established paternity earlier and had him pay child support the past five years. If she really did wait six years to tell the OP, then I have some serious doubts about her fitness as a mother.
metalman746 5
WoW...Well, look at it this way, at least you know your "little guys" can swim.. .... *High Five*
askullnamedbilly 33
I am pretty sure no man who has had to deal with an unplanned pregnancy has EVER felt comforted by that knowledge.
cakefete2 31
He's not completely wrong. Many guys wonder, in the back of their minds, if the equipment works. While not the ideal circumstance, that's one of the only ways to tell.
PieReaper 11
JERRY JERRY JERRY