Today, the first thing my fiancé did when he walked in the door was to loudly announce all the hot kinky stuff he was about to do to me on the kitchen table. Unfortunately for him my dad, mother and both my brothers had just dropped in for a visit and heard every word he said. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
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Top comments
Starzak 18
While I can totally understand why this is an FML to the OP, I personally don't really see an issue here. A man walks in, and announces at the top of his lungs the freaky shit he wasn't to do to his fiancée in their OWN HOME. That's the last place he'd expect to have to tiptoe around or have to walk on eggshells.
seasonedtoast 19
Turn it into a game of never have I ever.
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Comments (24)
seasonedtoast 19
Turn it into a game of never have I ever.
Starzak 18
While I can totally understand why this is an FML to the OP, I personally don't really see an issue here. A man walks in, and announces at the top of his lungs the freaky shit he wasn't to do to his fiancée in their OWN HOME. That's the last place he'd expect to have to tiptoe around or have to walk on eggshells.
Starzak 18
Whoops! Wants, not wasn't.
ImminentDisaster 12
The FML is the issue. No one said he shouldn't do it - it's just an awkward situation.
dopple85 6
Smooth!
RichardPencil 32
"I guess we're eating out tonight."
Ruminativ3 0
And all this could have been avoided by a simple text.
CantTouchThat 29
"Honey, my family dropped by and wants to say hi to you when you get home. Can't wait to see you after work. Love you! Also, don't go on your kinky rants again. We've gotten complaints."
Shabnam Moghal 14
"Surprise! Happy Birthday! We'll be going now"
jamielusions 19
How did your family react? I would have laughed.
Marie Bernabe 10
Should Off Told Him They Were There ??
lucasjames22 8
and your guy didn't see their invisible cars parked outside? and couldn't hear all those people talking when he came in?
lucasj23 11
how did they all get there? no cars?