Today, I’m not sure how to explain to my naive daughter that her new boyfriend is playing her. She insists that he’s just shy and that’s the reason he demands that no one knows about them, and pretends not to know her when other people are around. She thinks them having a secret is “romantic”. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife is convinced I don't love my daughter. Why? She got her first boyfriend recently, and I was friendly with the lad, instead of doing the stupid "overprotective dad" routine. Apparently, not feeling the need to act like a dumbass sitcom character means I secretly resent my family. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, I finally found out my suspicions about my 12 year-old daughter were correct, and I don’t know which one is worse: She's had a boyfriend and has denied it for the last 3 months, or the fact that my partner thought it was a good idea to let it go on for this long without telling me. FML
Today, I asked my son about girls and stuff and he told me he’s probably never going to date. I asked him why, and it turns out he’s afraid of being sent to jail if she makes any sort of false allegation against him. I told him not all women are like that, he told me I’m either naive or lying. FML
Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML
Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML
Today, my daughter once again called my boyfriend by the name of an ex-boyfriend. She always does this and she claims it’s because they’re all bald. Can she not remember their very distinct faces? FML
Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
You can’t get through to someone who refuses to listen, I’m afraid. Sometimes all you can do is get ready to pick up the pieces.
cuz803 46
Sorry but this most likely will be a lesson learned the hard way.
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Comments (12)
Anderling 33
You can’t get through to someone who refuses to listen, I’m afraid. Sometimes all you can do is get ready to pick up the pieces.
easybree 10
absolutely. that must suck as a mom
cuz803 46
Sorry but this most likely will be a lesson learned the hard way.
Charlie Given 28
So let me guess that he's married and that's why your daughter is in a secret relationship lol
Thaylok 17
Could be that 1) she is the side chick. 2) he is not a minor (statutory rape?) or 3) both. Do you even know this boyfriend?
HayNow 11
Oh well...let her learn the hard way
Hangryko 32
Call his parents.
RichardPencil 32
Tell his wife.
Brightside86 31
Sounds like he wants to fool around but finds her too embarrassing for it to be made public. This is going to be a rough lesson.
Brightside86 31
We're talking about a middle school relationship right?
49_Donuts 15
Whatever happens, don’t say ‘I told you so’