Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML
Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML
Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML
Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
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Top comments
AustinDenton 22
Ahh. The signs of true love.
Nightwing98 22
He remembered you six years later....it's the thought that counts?
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Comments (92)
psychoangeluis 1
How sweet? He loves you from the bottom of his creepy heart!
jeriaslovesyou 16
It's the thought that counts? Haha. No that is actually really creepy.
Tember12 11
Wow, looks like he can't get over you and doesn't take rejection well. It might be in your best interest to move.
conqueror57 11
Lucky. It's more than I got from my husband.
xuneventful 12
I'm suprised there's no "omg you should divorce him" comments. But anyways, perhaps he loves you every day, and not just on valentines? (:
conqueror57 11
He does. He's actually a great husband in most ways, but he's known for his "I was going to get you..." and lack of follow through. I really wanted the chocolate covered strawberries I had been telling him about for 2 weeks though. :-/
asherm 15
Sounds like you made the right call on him 6 years ago. Creeper needs to move on
0bey_Dom3828 4
Maybe you shouldn't have turned him down unless he was ugly
cchuckcloninger 5
Ah, just can't get you out of his mind...unfortunately. Seriously, if you were my friend I would go with you to the local police precinct with the goodies and try to talk to a female cop. Show the junk and ask how she would like for her little sister to be on the receiving end of such attention. You don't want to exacerbate the situation but a cop going by to straight talk him may do the trick. It's things like this that lead to dead young girls.
hgore95 3
Doesn't get much more romantic than that
ahippienamedrae 10
I think I'm going to have to use "cockspit" in a conversation someday.
SummonerMaenad 22
Awww, how sweet, maybe next Valentine's day he'll get you a mutilated stuffed animal or some maggot-filled chocolates :)