Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML
Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML
Today, I was flirting with a guy and we ended up having a deep conversation through text. We were talking all our problems, and saying really sweet things to each other. I THOUGHT he was going to say something else really sweet and cute. He linked me to Suicide Hotline instead. FML
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back, saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kelsorg 21
you better own up to your word lol
elijahisaboss 10
My question is what did he say
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
buckdharma 38
Buy him a tooth brush and he'll really be confused.
Enslaved 38
Especially if the toothbrush brand is an ORAL-B(j).
captainsmegma 12
You the man! !
graceinsheepwear 34
Tell him you meant you'd be a sympathetic ear; you know, aural support.
Zebediabolical 45
Here's hoping he takes you up on it!
Pointy 12
Well did u give it to him?
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Sounds like it sucks to be you.
Xeebar 28
So you'll talk to him like a good friend should then. Good.
BrotherPhil 35
Now there's a real friend.
Mama4ddk 15
just tell him that you meant from a girl, you would help him find one. Lol either that or tell him that your phone is dyslexic.lmao good luck
EmiliaB 12
He just got opposite friend-zoned.