Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML
Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML
Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
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Top comments
MBielefeld 20
That's when you respond with: "Shut up Carl, this is why your wife left you"
FMLUser404 4
hes just trying to be funny. dont take it personally op.
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Comments (24)
FMLUser404 4
hes just trying to be funny. dont take it personally op.
GhostFox 34
He can "try" to be funny but his sense of humor is worse than his horrid aim, because he missed by a mile.
Belemnoidea 5
don't mind him Carl just a born savage
DanielleinDC 34
I freaking hate it when someone says "don't take it personally" when something insulting and mean was clearly meant personally. It's like, "Can't you take a joke?" is code for "I don't like being called out for being an asshole."
Downer_Christi 2
People like you are the reason Hillary was nearly voted for president.
MBielefeld 20
That's when you respond with: "Shut up Carl, this is why your wife left you"
TheGamingGamer 28
Damn. ******* Savage.
AyeJay101 25
So you're the manager? I see someone getting written up in the near future.
Welshite 40
One man's trash is another man's treasure. On the other hand, you coworker is suited only for compost. He will make some special garden very happy one day.
GhostFox 34
His sense of humor's worse than his aim, at any rate- and both of those are better than his common sense.
HUGBUG 23
YDI for caring so much
HoboMeth 36
Learn to take a joke lol
domolovesyoshi 33
Insult jokes are not funny
CamBamShamDaMan 26
They are if you can take a joke
Catvillanueva 9
lol that's mean
redblips 13
You're not garbage! Shots have been fired, it's time you respond by duct taping a banana to the underside of their desk and letting it rot.
stingray112 24
Hm not bad but that sounds like an insult he read online somewhere and was waiting for the perfect opportunity to use it.