Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I tried to open a door with a dramatic kick, like in the movies. The door didn’t budge, but my shoe flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria at a table near the guy I like. He was playing around with a ball with a couple of his friends. They dropped it, and it rolled over next to my foot. When I bent down to pick it up, I smashed my head against a chair. FML
Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML
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Top comments
qwaszxwesdxc 0
Blood on ur face, You big disgrace, Kickin ur can all over the face
thekimberlypan 1
At least you're not a complete ass? Small victories.
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Comments (94)
GovernorGeneral 8
LOL. Its hard not to kick a can if its just lying there. You need to perfect that aim of yours so it does not hit civilians.
DontModMeDammit 10
I think the real FML here is that the guy has such bad eye-foot coordination it is amazing he was able to run and catch up with OP without falling flat on his face.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Is it odd that I was expecting this to rhyme?
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I hate it when I'm kicking a rock with my friend and it he kicked in front of him and he doesn't kick it, but that's a lil far xD
starbucksguy 16
#17 Translation please?
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
That was a handball which means you get a free kick. Not much of a football player is he?
qwaszxwesdxc 0
14 the man with the plan kicked a can to Jackie chan who than ran to throw the can in OP's man(dible)
ripresno 10
45- HOORAY FOR RHYMING!! [^_^]
smileypoop 2
14. Its funny what you say in your profile, cause anybody who had witnessed a man dying does not want to think about that let alone put that in a fml profile... Show some respect
rallets 23
^ and the bombing doesnt offend you?
efemel94 7
Chief wigan - "3 kicks the same can is officially littering"
OhDearBetrayal 25
47- Oh I'm sorry, did you think I was kidding? I hardly think admitting to seeing a person dying is showing disrespect, if anything it shows how they'll never be forgotten. You need to stop acting like an over sensitive person and grow up. What I put on my profile shows what I have gone through, why are you acting like such a prick?
hahafylop 4
OhDearBetrayal, if you're location is Mankato, MN, look at my profile. I have fulfilled your dream.
missjennjones 0
lol xD
thekimberlypan 1
At least you're not a complete ass? Small victories.
qwaszxwesdxc 0
Blood on ur face, You big disgrace, Kickin ur can all over the face
THE_A_TEEN 28
We will We will Rock You
qwaszxwesdxc 0
Kicked da bucket
Feklfekl2222 32
Aaarrrgh I'll never get that out of my head! Actually that's a good thing, cheers :)
SkoomaKi 28
#3 - Made my ******* day. That is all.
qwaszxwesdxc 0
Lol... Autocorrected... Last line was supposed to be "place"
therealslim 15
34- face seems more appropriate anyway, as the can was launched at his head
immaMonsta 8
#3 lol, that made my day (:
uJelly24 1
I sang that I didn't read it :D
AlexBblah 10
Hahah, me too i sang it
RoseCrystal 17
I've heard of Kick the Can but this is ridiculous...
fishereric 1
That's a stupid comment.
maebelline12 12
Your comment about how stupid #4s comment was wasn't any better.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
At least he didn't throw it at your balls
TwiztedYuri 9
OP is a female they're called ovaries
starbucksguy 16
And it'd be a hell of a shot to hit her ovaries at that...
RedPillSucks 33
It would be an even better shot if it hit her balls.... :-/
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Damn, I didn't even notice. I thumbed my comment down for that
DogsPaw 16
Thought of all the Tosh.o things for this comment.
HeroOfHyrule 0
Pick it back up and throw it at him. He's a jerk, OP.
johnnyhaha 0
or pretend he knocked u out then piss all over the place
xxmckenzierae 5
He couldn't help it, he had to get the can back to you some how.
PawnShopPenguin 4
I honestly feel bad for the guy, poor man.
BossFML1996 1
He slapped her in the back of the head with a damn can and you feel bad for him?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Did you not notice the man had motor skills less than that of a rock? That's pitiful indeed.
penniesguy4323 1
Yah hes just mad cause he could never kick a ball
OhDearBetrayal 25
Yah bt u missd somthin, an thas GRAMMAR. I'm not a full- blown grammar nazi but sometimes I can't help but develop a twitch...
SkoomaKi 28
I feel bad for ya son, I got 99 problems but a hurt head ain't one! That guy should've just given up and put it in the bin, but I guess throwing it at you made him feel better about himself. You're life sucks.