Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML
Today, every time I think of having any children, I remember that an idiotic neighbor let her kids paint all over my car with permanent marker, so I eventually forget about it. FML
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I called my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML
Today, my daughter decided to draw me a heart for my birthday. Unfortunately, she drew it on the side of my car. With a rock. FML
Today, I took my two kids to a restaurant with a graffiti-themed wall and took some lovely pictures that I promptly posted to family on social media. I didn't notice until a couple of hours later it said "ANAL?" in huge writing behind my dear child's head. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
That's awesome, if I were you I'd go all out and just make it a death eaters art car. Or if you're too scared you can put a red circle with a slash through it and make it a Dumbledore's army car. :)
perdix 31
Sell it to Voldemort, duh.
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Comments (93)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
That's awesome, if I were you I'd go all out and just make it a death eaters art car. Or if you're too scared you can put a red circle with a slash through it and make it a Dumbledore's army car. :)
bluevayero 42
THIS IS GENIUS! the Dumbledor part i mean
penguins777 10
Some people don't appreciate Harry Potter.
HouseElf 13
Silly muggles, tricks are for squibs~!
unknown_user5566 27
Squibs? Naw, man. They're almost as bad as Mudbloods. (Only kidding, in case a hardcore fan takes offense to this).
alissa222 15
And some vandals appreciate it far too much
COLDB3AR 6
I think they appreciate Harry Potter plenty, to paint the Dark Mark on the car
_Scarlett_Rose_ 7
Damn, that is so tough.
RadikulRam 16
Do not worry #3, as tough as it is, I am sure Billy Mays had a product for this.
BellaBelle_fml 23
May he rest in peace in the great infomercial in the sky…
sniken 14
Get yourself a sticker to cover it up until you get it fixed.
Lauren324 18
Paint jobs are expensive too! FYL
ICastillo 25
Well prepare to have Harry Potter fans scowling at you until you have it removed.
perdix 31
Sell it to Voldemort, duh.
ICastillo 25
He gone.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
But Voldy's gone moldy!
Brssps 13
He'll pay it with a nice big "avada kedavra"
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Technically, because books' events happen in the present, Voldy is both dead AND alive :D
betty_white 12
like schrodingers cat :flys away:
jellycorn 13
What about Mrs Skowers All-Purpose magical mess remover?
unknownfork 12
#46 - Harry Potter takes place in the 90's.
kxxjoejoexxk 8
I dont blame the kids i wouldnt ride in a car with a death eater
howdeedoo 22
Or a dead body
bribecrazyy 14
actually, that would have been a mudbloods car, or maybe a blood traitor.
PenguinBitch 44
Bloody hell OP! Tell your kids the car can fly too. If not buy a dragon.
Posthuman 26
Forget dragons! He could just learn to make a portkey!
GothickNihilist 15
Forget dragons. Hippogriffs are so much better.:3
PenguinBitch 44
You're all wrong. The Floo and Toilet Network are a better choice because they're economical. Think Green! (no pun intended my Slytherin friends)
jellycorn 13
Or you could take a thestral or hippogriff. Such a pity they outlawed the old flying carpet.. Always the good ol' fashioned broomstick, though. Hear the new Nimbus is alright.
Amama_fml 30
Your kid is awesome!
DaDezza244 31
Re-read the fml 10. It clearly said that 'someone' did it not her kid. And we don't even know if she or he has kids
MistressCaitlyn 7
Re-read the FML, 50. "My kids refuse..."
GingerPanda94 6
THANK YOU 51!! Someone else noticed, I took too long to sign in. 50 careful what you say in your comments when you are doing the exact same as those you are replying too... That's called being a hypocrite.
DaDezza244 31
Ok I apologise. My bad. I need to read properly and slowly. Again in sorry for being a hypocrite