Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML
Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
Today, I'm a full-time Investment Portfolio Analyst at one of the largest groups. It has been my dream job and I worked my ass off. I'm one of the best analysts there and people like me. Also, I haven't slept properly for 3 months, without a single day off. I'm about to get mentally sick. FML
Today, during a job interview on Zoom, I tried to sound passionate and said, “I eat marketing for breakfast.” The interviewer then asked what I have for lunch. I panicked and said, “Analytics… and sometimes interns.” I haven’t heard back yet. FML
Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML
Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I got a question wrong on an exam. The question started with, "In your opinion..." FML
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
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Top comments
Subtext 10
Trust me, you're not the only one.
Ashamed_Sister 60
I suggest you grow up before starting your career.
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Comments (112)
Subtext 10
Trust me, you're not the only one.
calilovesneb 12
I'll never be able to see that word the same way again.
SmallyBigs 9
He'll be anally conflicted
thrifting 18
I had a choir teacher in eighth grade who would say ANAL-ysis and pit emphasis on anal. Now that I think back on it... I'm really creeped out.
ChenShiMing 8
I looked at my friend's schedule at the beginning of the school year. He took Math Analysis. The schedule shortened it to, "Math Anal"
AurumPotestasEst 16
Hahahaha... it ends in "lyst!"
chris4u2nv5 19
Well its your duty now, wait did I say duty? That's real close to anal!
ryanthecheeseguy 18
You tried.
andrewturtle 16
But alas, you failed.
Trivision 10
... epicly
Spider_Web 11
Indeed.
Ashamed_Sister 60
I suggest you grow up before starting your career.
zandalee 20
I find life is much more fun actually if you hold on to your inner-child...
Ashamed_Sister 60
#15: No one likes a giggling conflict analyst. OP can grow up and stop giggling or she will fail.
rememberkids 14
As long as you act professional while doing your job, what's the problem?
rivaraven 35
You sound like a boring person, I'm sorry.
EastCoastElite 4
I agree, life is short, why take everything so serious when we're only gonna live for a short time... I learned that after I fractured my skull lol
EatZombies 10
Growing up doesn't necessarily mean you need to stop having a sense of humor or fun.
Likian5 26
Everyone has those moments, even when we're in our forties, so my parents say. At least we know where you stand on the maturity scale, though :P haha
Lightcrusade 9
Not just an exit, but also an entrance!
andrealovvve 17
Lmao...wow.. (x
froggyjade 16
I still giggle at rude words and I'm 33 so don't worry, least you'll have a laugh at work!
NotGabe 28
I choked on my drink when I read "whisper me" too closely together.
mangobbler 11
If you find, that in your own terms, doing that is bad, just try and find out how to not do it.
GrinchFu1 27
Conflict anal-list!
andrewturtle 16
A list of anal conflicts? That's nasty.
5tee 3
sounds like you have a dilemma
ChenShiMing 8
Or a conflict...