Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, I had to explain to a coworker that even though, yes, I’m Polish and, yes, my family’s from Poland, that, no, we’re not from The North Pole. We’re not from Antarctica either. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML
Today, my now-former friend explained in extreme hyperbole that the only reason Russia invaded Ukraine is because Zelensky is a zionist agent meant to make Putin and Trump look bad. He stopped taking my calls after I asked him to explain this. FML
Today, we had to sit our friend down and explain that President Zelensky is not a Mossad agent/US puppet who forced Putin to invade Ukraine. He responded by talking about Hunter Biden for an hour. FML
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
Today, for the fifth time this month, I had to explain to a group of people that yes, my name really is Donald Trump. Like all the other groups, they burst out laughing and did some Trump impressions for 15 minutes. FML
Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML
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Top comments
MrConcise 35
No vodka on you? What good is being Russian? I'm sincerely disappointed, OP.
Wizardo 34
As any well trained sleeper cell is meant to do buddy.
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Comments (191)
getfokinrektm8 9
the stereotypes are real
Overlord247 20
Oh my god, professor. You can't just ask people why they are white!
Dramori 29
Do you idolise Gorbachev then? ;)
Dreamteambooya 3
Every Russian hates Gorbachev
writerchic85 26
I'm of German descent and people used to ask me all the time if I was related to Hitler. First of all, Hitler didn't have any kids. Second of all, there were more people in Germany than just Hitler. I would always ask what ethnicity they were and ask them an equally stupid question. Oh you're French? Are you related to Napoleon?
FieldLeftBlank 20
Everyone knows that's the place with the koalas.
Expat81_fml 1
the French wouldn't ask such a stupid question..
amandathemermaid 19
Well they would, but they'd surrender before the person would even get the chance answer.
Xamry14 10
Plus Hitler was Austrian
brenton490 19
Hey! Take that back. I am related to Napoleon!
orsombre_fml 11
LOL A French would know that Hitler was Austrian. Your example does not sound credible.
Becca34 31
As a Canadian I feel the pain of this. The stereotypes are crazy. My stepmother met a woman who actually believed we sleep in igloos.
randomname98 22
I once had a woman note how poor people are if they "live in those tiny houses on the lake." She was referring to ice fishing houses.
littlekellilee 45
I went to an interview in Seattle and told another interviewee that when it snows, we ride our pet polar bears to work. He said it makes total sense.
whitetiger13131 26
Most of Canada's population lives within 100 kilometers of the US border, so I wonder why they think we are just instantly snow ice and polar bears haha. It's a political border, not climate
tormcn 26
"Oh you're from Canada. You haven't seen a mosquito before". My step father while visiting family in the U.S
bassfisher100 23
I just thought yall were all really nice.
Pat5519 14
How do you know when a Canadian is going on a date? The entire dog team has had a bath.
TenebrionHZ 5
Hey, look at the bright side. At least they didn't accuse you of ruining DotA 2 games.
getfokinrektm8 9
the stereotypes are real
chosha_fml 27
But are you an Olympic gymnast?
MikkaBozu 5
Stereostype sure suck. I'm sorry, OP, I hope you still have a nice time in Canada or wherever you are now.
Bragi 12
Why not, OP?