Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
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Top comments
summerguy97 16
Should that count as a date?
shibeep 12
Stage 5 clinger
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Comments (60)
MumuMGFRCN 4
Oh God, scary!
dawood_k 27
Shame the guy is homeless and you're two timing him. Ha ha ha classic story, how did your boyfriend take it, would love to hear what was his reaction.
Inked0803 12
Be afraid be very afraid
Laxoxo224 8
How the **** is this a fml? Wow ur life sucks bc of this while there are literally billions of people starving.
Senseless_487 29
Did you read only the first sentence and call it good? Try again. And this time, try not to be an insufferable douche about it.
Laxoxo224 8
Lol. Your dumb
Senseless_487 29
My dumb...what? If you're going to insult someone's intelligence, at least use proper grammar.
TheDrifter 24
Is it just me, or is the quality of troll dropping off sharply lately?
MissCharlotte_fml 26
30, this website exists so people can complain about annoying little things that ruin their day or week. If you cant understand that, then get the **** out. By your logic, all FMLs are not FMLs because it could be worse. No. And if you cant accept that not all FMLs are not about people starving, well then why the hell did you create an account? Also, brush up on your basic grammar.
olpally 33
Wow thats creepy, then you just slowly walked off the train, then you and your Bf run as fast as Usain bolt and get the hell out of there.
Nurd4lyfe 7
That's some information to share with the police
browniey 11
Plan a date with him to the psych ward jk
rumaihm 7
They really need help.
worldclassrager 41
Well that's an Interesting encounter...
jrock9093 18
Well his sarcasm sounds great