Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
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Top comments
summerguy97 16
Should that count as a date?
shibeep 12
Stage 5 clinger
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Comments (60)
xenmarkal51 6
I would be scared.
ocampo 6
well at least know you know not to two time him
leeburns 5
He's a hopeless romantic, love at first site
RoboCunnilingus 23
I had love at first site once. It was pornhub.
DrownedMyFish 18
and they said there was no such thing.
The_Big_Boss 20
Homeless guy just having fun. If I'm riding in a cab or test driving a car I like to say something like, "you ever had someone beat you up and steal the car before?" Just to screw with them. Look on their face is priceless
perdix 31
If your boyfriend is not ready to kill a hobo for you, is he really worth your time? If not, maybe the bum is the keeper ;)
museerux01 10
Well now you can tell the romantic story of how you had to leave your boyfriend to save his ass from a killer bum
thatonegirlnic 10
He's a lover and a fighter
AllyCady14 5
If I were you, I'd look into buying a car..
alwayswinning123 7
How lovely!
tarv 16
I REALLY hope he was joking