Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
davek 36
"Psst. Stewardess? When the people behind me got their bag out of the overhead locker, I heard a weird ticking noise."
Weijun 2
All that is missing is the screaming baby.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
mrsnicks 0
So grow a pair and speak up.
humphrey107 0
why didn't you say something you sook?
8trickster8 0
BUT HOW DOES THIS RUIN YOUR LIFE!?!!11!!1!!
Jeffx2 0
Kids belong in the cargo hold with the pets.
schwinn11 0
Uhhhhh, do you have a voice? Speak up, tell the damn kid to stop kick'n your seat, and tell the bald **** if he can't stop shit'n himself needs to go to the restroom.
hjs_13 0
mmmkay, even tho its a little kid, you should have turned around and said something. and the guy fartin i mean for real, people stand up for yourself, i mean you dont have to be rude, but 14 hours of smellin nasty stuff from that mans crack, and that kidd mann forget that.
thefull9yards 4
put the recliner back al the way and rock back a bit to spill anything on there tray
punxxi 0
you can control a kid on a plane, it's called phenobarbital, works wonders, it does. and yes, you should have woke up the farter and told him about it, and you should have turned around and told the parent and the kid that the situation was intolerable. If they didn't try to control it, then your next step was to tell the crew to move either you or them. I bet you live in portland hehehehe.
r_max 0
If I were you I'd intentionally start dry heaving really loudly, while politely saying how you just cannot handle the smell. That should have embarrassed the idiot next to you.
FerrariCake 2
"farted deadly ones"? The plane was obviously malfunctioning if the oxygen masks didn't drop from the ceiling.