Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
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Top comments
davek 36
"Psst. Stewardess? When the people behind me got their bag out of the overhead locker, I heard a weird ticking noise."
Weijun 2
All that is missing is the screaming baby.
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Comments (99)
EveryDayJackAss 0
should've brought sleeping pills and a gas mask
coldglass 0
You deserved it for complaining over the internet. You'll get over it sometime.
Mustardnight 3
Wha? Layoffs? Anyways rolling on floor laughing my ass off, that guy farting was for sure me. Weird fml says i spilt the beeans, cause i assuredly ate them all before embarking on the plane. :3
fairies633 8
I woulda turned around, knock the kid upside the head, then I woulda called the steudardess and told her to make him stop farting or move
RuralNinja 0
YDI for not not doing anything about it.
bonance 0
ooh, sucks for you. :/ on the other hand, first class rules. :D
loszer96 0
here nxt time kill em both
jfournier 0
Turn the little air nozzle right on your face, and that can help keep the stink air away from your nose. Helps sitting in the last row next to the rest room line.
Mz_CaRtER 0
I feelz ya once in da movie theatre i was watchin dance flick and a boy n a grl was behind me the boy kept kickin ma chair and they kept makin commentson da movie like "o shit" n "dats a ugly motha f****" and dey kept laughin sooooo hard!!!! i wuz aboutz to say sumtin but i reallly wanted to watch the movie n i didnt wanna get kicked out sooo....yea! but yu had it harder cuz yours wuz 14 hours mines only like 1 and 40 min. srry fa u at least its ova wit!
cjammer 0
*attempts to press 1 repeatedly for English*
Rebecca1993 0
Oh god that was painful to try to read. Sorry, textspeak annoys the hell out of me ._.
Lovebotlass 0
Suck it up. For real...