Today, on Thanksgiving, I asked my kid what she is thankful for. "My tablet." I had just told her I was thankful for her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I let my 5 year old play on my tablet while we were both using one of those family restrooms with two toilets. She took a selfie showing both on us on the toilet and sent it to my husband. FML.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML
Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML
Reverse psychology
Today, while trying to get my picky daughter to eat her dinner, I pretended to take some of her food and give it to her brother, thinking that would get her to eat it. Instead, she thanked me. FML
Nice of her
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
How did your Thanksgiving go?
Today, I’m going to have two Thanksgivings. One at my parents' for the first half of the day, then the other at my house. I let my boyfriend know beforehand about it, as well as my sister. She then told my mom about my plan and next thing I know, I got a phone call from mom that turned into her yelling at me for not staying all day. FML
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
Free healthcare for all
Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Top comments
Enslaved 38
I'm thankful for parents that don't ask me trick questions just to feed their ego.
RichardPencil 32
You should be thankful that your child recognizes blatant compliment-fishing when she sees it.
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Comments (34)
whatahatuis 7
how was the turkey tho
CSSDimian 6
that's what you get for trying to force a child to respond in a specific way.
RichardPencil 32
Take the hint and buy yourself an iPad. Then you'll realize what a disappointment children are by comparison.
the_bammit 5
When you go fishing you might catch something you didn't really want but that's what happens. If you format your question better you might have gotten the response you wanted. Plus who cares? You shouldn't be worrying about if your kid likes you, you are not their friend/peer.
HUGBUG 23
Who ******* cares
kristinjeaneen 21
I'd be thankful my kid didn't suck up to me and say she was thankful for me just because I said I was thankful for her first. At least she's honest. Not to mention, she's a kid. When I was a kid I wasn't thankful for the people in my life because in my carefree happiness, I was too young to realize that all the good people in my life wouldn't be there one day. Let her enjoy that young feeling.
TheNewGuy03 29
Sorry, but you're not going to win this one. Besides the obvious compliment-fishing, kids are ruthless savages when it comes to speaking -- there are no filters.
Kendrah18 19
The world is going to hell in a hand basket. My kid(s) won't know what a tablet is until they're in their teens and have a good reason to be on one. Sickening.
Crystal55621 19
Going a little overboard. Take it down a notch, we're talking about a child here.
Catdragon 40
I think it's time parents actually start parenting their kids instead of giving them electronics to keep them busy. Not only is there a lot of bad things on the internet, but there are sexual predators too. That's why you should keep them off of it until they are responsible and old enough.
Lisamariexd 4
Or all those educational games that teach them to read/write/do math in a way that seems fun...
devinaww 15
Maybe she didn't wanna sound lame and copy you...... Not sure what age your kid is, but when I was a teenager I didn't say sappy things Still don't, actually